Very upset about bf visiting strip club

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4 Comments

My boyfriend is going away to portugal on a stag do for five nights in the summer, and obviously, his friends are going to want to go to strip clubs. He has said that if they do, he'll go with them (understandably).

My problem is that, I have very traditional values when it comes to being faithful and I'm very uncomfortable with this. My mum actually left my dad for six months because he saw a stripper on a work do when she was pregnant. And I do see watching a real woman get naked and interacting with her and getting aroused by her as being somewhat unfaithful. I understand this isn't a common view nowadays, but I can't help having these values.

This is compounded by the fact that he's away for such a long time. I do trust my boyfriend, but as I pretty much view seeing strippers as cheating, and he's been honest and said that if his friends want to see strippers (which they will) he will stick with them, it isn't much good trusting him as he is admitting he will do something I'm very uncomfortable with.

I understand my boyfriend's perspective, the idea of this just drives me crazy and I'm not sure how to get over it. The thought makes me feel sick, and I don't want to spend five nights worrying about what he's doing. Does anyone have any advice? Trolls expected, genuine help appreciated!

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Based on 5 votes (3 yes)
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Comments ( 4 )
  • TexasToast09
    7 years ago

    Maybe try talking to him again.

    "I do see watching a real woman get naked and interacting with her and getting aroused by her as being somewhat unfaithful. I understand this isn't a common view nowadays, but I can't help having these values."

    You could try to make a compromise where he goes but doesn't interact with any strippers, or whatever you both come up with. It's a big thing that goes against your values. You should try to make him understand that.

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  • TowelHead
    6 years ago

    Get a video tape that teaches you how to strip for your boyfriend. If you are afraid to do dirty things, your marriage is doomed. (I do not wish to be vile.)

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  • [Old Memory]
    7 years ago

    Would you be happy with him looking at pretty young girls sunbathing topless on the beaches in Portugal. From experience this is common in Portugal and while i understand your concerns he is not going to see much more in a strip club than what is on show on the beach.

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  • edwininthematrix
    7 years ago

    The thing is that strippers are just doing their job, they're not looking for relationships. He can spend time hanging out with his friends at strip clubs and it won't at all affect the bond that he has with you because he may be watching semi-nude women and even if there is something physical it will never be more than that and there will not be any emotional attachment or connection. I would even say that visiting strip clubs with his friends would do more for his friendship with his buddies than for any possible relationship with a stripper who is only doing her job and not interested in hooking up. I don't know if this helps but hope you feel better,

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