Was it normal for me to have been this worried?

It’s quite a long story so I’ll try to keep this quick. In high school I had a friend that I had a crush on (for safety reasons I’ll just call her by her initials, An) and both of us admitted to having fears about driving.

Eventually though, An got over her fear and started driving and boy did that cause a lot of worry in me. Having an ocd mind I tend to think about the same things over and over again, and I really regret all the worry I had about her driving (but how could you not have been worried when your school kept shoving down your throat how dangerous driving is, and when An kept saying how bad she was at driving?).

And another thing, this girl in particular was short in stature, and her behavior could also be very childlike and energetic, which gave me almost an innocent ideal of her (which was shattered when I heard how foul mouthed she was in junior year)

and i thought of this analogy: imagine there’s a ride, that’s very scary and has had plenty of accidents, and you’re too scared to go on it. But a little girl who you always thought of as innocent has no problem going on it. How embarrassed would you be?

I just really regret being so worried about this one girl, when I could have been focused on so many other things. It’s hard to explain though, she had such a wonderful personality and I was so antisocial, barely anyone could talk to me or make me as happy as she did, and I didn’t want anything bad to happen to her.

But now we’re both outside of high school, and I’m still too scared to drive. It makes me feel like such a pussy, and I have been called things like “crybaby” for expressing my concerns. I just wish I could have done it all over again, because those are some wasted years of my life I’ll never get back!