What are some safe lies to tell my girlfriend?

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I've been dating this girl for a little over a month and I'm crazy for her. I feel like we have a good relationship. I'm a pretty agreeable person and I don't butt heads with people very often, especially people I like such as my girlfriend. For some reason women seem to inherently crave some degree of conflict in relationships

For example, I accidentally embarrassed her at a Christmas party and she acted hurt and upset the entire rest of the evening until we hashed it out back at home. It was a pretty emotional fight which later ended with some very passionate sex and her behaving much more affectionate and loving toward me after. On days which we don't fight (which is the overwhelming majority of them), she seems bored with me and rarely reciprocates when I try to be affectionate

So what are some safe lies I can tell my girlfriend that will upset her but not damage the relationship? I don't want to be toxic or abusive, I want to be just mean enough to be sexy or however women view it

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Comments ( 5 )
  • Anonnet
    1 year ago

    This overall sounds like a terrible idea, but it's not my relationship so...

    If she's craving excitement, you could lie about setting up exciting appointments like sky-diving or axe-throwing. Or you could just set them up normally if you have the money. Or buy weird crap off Wish or Amazon and then make a big deal about having never bought them. Or invite a female friend to your house to knock on the door and say something strange to her, probably starting with "ready to go?" or "is ___ ready to go?" Of course, you weren't actually going anywhere, but make sure your friend looks dejected when they leave.

    Then again, if the point is to just mildly piss off your girlfriend, you probably don't need to lie to do it. Take bigbudchonger's advice, but accentuate it by taking a laxative beforehand. Or just leave the toilet seat up or something, and pretend you forgot when she tells you to stop.

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    • SkullsNRoses
      1 year ago

      Good point, why even stop at lies? Subscribe to plenty of women’s OnlyFans (make sure they look nothing like your girlfriend) and send them adoring messages begging for fetish videos of kinks she hates. “Accidentally” link this to the TV so she sees.

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  • bigbudchonger
    1 year ago

    Tell her your incontinent

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  • kikilizzo
    1 year ago

    Wtf

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  • Tinybird
    1 year ago

    I don't like when people are mean to me at all (as a female) and if someone is remotely mean to me I will be 1000 times meaner to them back especially behind their back to myself I will make fun of them and call them a retard, or other slurs, etc to make myself feel better.

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