What conspiracy theories do you believe?

What conspiracy theories do you believe? If you don’t believe any, what are some that you find the most entertaining?

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Comments ( 46 )
  • Bassmachine

    Big brother.
    It's totally undeniable with all these smart phones and privacy terms nobody reads before agreeing to them.

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  • KholatKhult

    I have insurmountable evidence that NATONazi supersoldier microagent Federal officials had crawled inside my ear canal and convinced me to let my BMW sit in the garage for 5 months so that now it won’t start.

    Anytime I try to translate the manual from German to Russian the power goes out and I wake up 2 hours away from my house
    If I have to pay some cross-eyed Turk 5 bajillion rubles to tapdance inside the engine of this thing so help me god I will wear a bomb vest to a foreign Embassy

    Also Unicorns are real simply because I would like them to be
    Actually, all mythical/cryptid animals are real. The second I hear about some new hybrid whosiewhatsit I’m all in

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    • dude_Jones

      Excellent stuff there, Kholat. If you can work resurrection from the dead into it, you’ll have material for a SciFi best seller.

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    • Vvaas

      wake up run

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    • yaboi_icy125

      PHOENIXES!!! <3

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  • ospry

    Trillionaires exist, we just don't know who they are because they use their wealth and influence to keep it a secret

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    • hauntedbysandwiches

      With cryptocurrency, soon we will have known trillionaires

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  • MonteMetcalfe

    The squirrels are after me.

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    • donteatstuffoffthesidewalk

      get a dingo

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      • MonteMetcalfe

        They'll just gang up on me.

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    • RoseIsabella

      Are you nuts?

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      • MonteMetcalfe

        Yes indeed, very much so.
        My family tree is filled with nuts.

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  • Iambillythemenacetosociety

    The most ridiculous conspiracy theory I have heard was that people in power were actually reptilians trying to learn human behavior.

    2020 was a very weird year.

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    • ospry

      Wait--people actually believed that one? I thought it was like people shitposting but in real life

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      • Iambillythemenacetosociety

        No, people actually thought people in power were reptilians.😂

        I don't know if you know about the qanon thing, but it was the qanon fans that believed shit like that.

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  • Holzman_67

    free mumia abu jamal!

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  • RoseIsabella

    The world governments had China create the virus for the purpose of population control, as well as to also control the behavior, and actions of the their citizens.

    I know it sounds crazy, and can't say that I completely believe it... but you never know. 👽

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    • ospry

      So in order to control population sizes, world governments conspired with China to develop a virus with a 98% or higher survivability rate?

      Figures. There's nothing that government incompetence can't fuck up

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      • Clunk42

        When you put it like that, it makes even more sense.

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    • LloydAsher

      I just read what Bill Gates says. World has too many people apparently.

      I say let natural selection do its work. Its antithetical to humans to do nature's work.

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      • Agirlnamedjoey

        Look up the patent names for things associated with that creep.

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  • Clunk42

    I have been informed that Creationism is a conspiracy theory.

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  • raisinbran

    The vaccine makes your covid illness less severe is my favorite unprovable conspiracy theory. “Think of how bad it would have been!” say the pretzel brains.

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    • hauntedbysandwiches

      That's not a conspiracy theory that's even common, it's a fact the vaccine lessens the severity

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      • raisinbran

        You want salt on your pretzel?

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  • donteatstuffoffthesidewalk

    anti lock brakes are designed to cause more fender benders and ultimately increases auto & auto parts sales

    dog culture in america has been encouraged by the chinese so that when they invade theyll have a plentiful food source

    elvis was a dea agent

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    • dude_Jones

      I’d say antilock brakes are a break even deal for the repair shops. People like you and me are better at avoiding accidents without them. Ditzy soccer moms with no knowledge of physics do better with them.

      Of course, the conspiracy theory is needed by car salesmen to add more money to the basic price of the car.

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      • donteatstuffoffthesidewalk

        they suck so bad in the snow its stupid

        its a proven fact that you stop faster by skidding than with abs in snow as it piles up in fronta the skidding tire and aids traction

        steering not so much but it aint too hard to skid release steer then skid again

        i always pull the fuse on my abs if its gonna snow

        and if i mention that to anyone younger than 30 i get screeched at cause im sposta trust some bullshit technology over my own skills & experience

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        • dude_Jones

          Yep. Pull the fuse on Thanksgiving, put it back in last day of February.

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    • ospry

      Trust me, China is by no means lacking in dogs. I've lived in Shandong province, Jiangsu province, and Shenzhen city, each in completely different parts of the country. Dogs are plentiful

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      • KholatKhult

        My wife grew up in the Yunnan province

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        • ospry

          Oh, that's down south right? The further south you get the more it becomes Cantonese or regional dialects. I got by a lot easier living in the north

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          • KholatKhult

            Yes it’s along the southern border, she speaks Mandarin and the Tibetan dialect as that’s where her father is from. Beautiful place

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            • ospry

              I miss living there. Tell your wife 她国家是世界上最美丽的之一。

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  • Tommythecaty

    Well that JFK and his brother were just victims of “lone crazy” and nothing else is a bit laughable. Robert was clearly mob related as he was fucking them up left and right.

    So there’s those ones for sure.

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  • megadriver

    Big brother
    Governments hiding advanced technology and aliens from us

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  • Agirlnamedjoey

    Adrenochrome. And the names of google things like the browser "chrome" and a newer operating system "adreno".

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  • hauntedbysandwiches

    The moon is made of cheese

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    • BleedingPain

      Please tell me its swiss, it’s gotta be swiss

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      • hauntedbysandwiches

        It's definitely swiss.

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        • BleedingPain

          Fly me to the moon, and let me eat among the stars, let me see what swiss is like on Jupiter and mars

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    • donteatstuffoffthesidewalk

      well then why havent the french landed there?

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      • ospry

        They have. You just can't see the white flag they planted against the moon's white surface

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  • Crocotta1

    The earth is flat
    Circumcision is unethical
    You talk trash
    I’ll bite off your testicle

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    • ospry

      the earth is flat - that's just common sense
      circumcision is unethical - that's an opinion, not a conspiracy
      You talk trash I'll bite off your testicle - you gonna make me act up in a minnit here, son

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      • Crocotta1

        I’m not son, I’m ma’m
        *bites off your testicle*

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