What do i do about my son?

Okay so I'm on an athletic scholarship at a great private university as well and I personally think its a phase. Don't let him go through with it, choking on one game doesn't make you want to throw your whole life away. I would really talk to him. He's obviously doing it for his gf which is dumb af.

If the relationship is as strong as he thinks it is they should be fine with distance right? I don't understand how you can completely change your future because o one person who you might not even talk to 10 years from now.

He needs to do what's right for him and his future.He needs to listen to his head not his heart. What if the relationship doesn't last and he's wasted this horrible opportunity? What did he spend his whole life working for? You don't put that much time in your sport to throw away amazing opportunities.

If I had done the same my parents would've let me transferred if that's what I really wanted to do, but financially I'd be on my own 100%. You're an adult and want to throw away free money? Pay it yourself.

i think he has to stay where he is. he's lost concentration thats all, maybe be firm but loving in your speech pattern with him, its a hard one

This is a really difficult dilemma. I think you should advise caution as much as you can, but let him make his own decision.

I don't know much about education in America, much less academic scholarships, but I strongly believe that anywhere in the world you get out of school the effort which you put in and that effort is the only factor that matters. The reputation of a school doesn't really mean anything. The schools will tell you otherwise because their survival depends on it, but it isn't true.

If he stays where he is, he will get more chances at sport. No coach worth their salt would drop a promising athlete because they didn't live up to their potential on their first game. They've shown faith in him once, and they will again.

He's stressed and under pressure, and the best thing you can do to help him is reduce that. The year off is a smart idea. It would reduce his stress and allow him to visit girlfriend more often. He can still focus on sport in his own time, and he will have his head in the right place to make a responsible decision about his future. If I were you, I'd lean on him to make that decision. But I strongly believe that young people (of which I am one) should be allowed to make their own mistakes, and if he decides to transfer to a school you don't like you should let him.

It's gut check and priority check time, for both you and your son. Right now the priority needs to be your son's education and future. Regardless of whether he plans to make his living from sport, or in another way, it seems that the current school and scholarship are major assets. If he decides to take a year off, it may be better than a transfer, but only if it does not affect his scholarship.

Is there any possibility of taking the family and the gf to him for a visit? Might alleviate some of the current stress and allow for a better conversation.

Focus on an education and player performance. We all choke sometimes. Besides when he makes it big he can buy all the women he wants!.

I feel for you. Explain your feelings. However, He should make his own INFORMED choices if only to have himself to blame when they go wrong. If you force your will on him he will become bitter & resentful. Hopefully your younger son will have the benefit of learning from his older brother's mistakes.

It's not one, but a combo of several, I think. But we do not know your son, beyond what you have written.
Has he ever "choked" before and moved past it? Perhaps this is the most important part of the whole discussion. With his self confidence shattered, if he quits, then could this become a regular pattern; taking the easy way out? I have one child who will go to great lengths to find the easiest path (GED over school), but it has never worked out well for her. Her life is a mess.
I have little doubt that his girl is a major part of this; what has she said to him? If she is smart, she will side with you; one is supposed to give up their happiness for those they love. In this case it might mean not going to the same school for his better education.
Again, I don't know either of you or your relationship, but often kids will go against parental advice, even if they know it is the best choice, just to be obstinate or independent.
With the facts you've given here, I would suggest getting together with his coach and see if there isn't a way to get him back on that track, first.