What do you do when the guy you're dating loves you but

7 Comments

He still wants to move to another state and you don't want to? He wants to be with me, says he loves me but i said my career, my family, my friends are all here and he still wants to move to another state so I tell him one day we're going to have to break up when you move because I told you I'm not moving but he says he knows yet he treats me like the love of his life.

I don't know what to do. He says he'll never give me up because he loves me but yet he says he will move and I say I can't and don't want to.

I don't know what to do :( I love him a lot. Doesn't he realize when he moves he won't see me anymore because I'll have to break up? He knows I won't change my mind.

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Comments ( 7 )
  • darefu
    2 years ago

    This always comes across wrong and a lot of people will say it is sexist, but it truely is not meant to be offensive to anyone.

    I've addressed this issue many times and I don't care if it is a normal MF relationship or any variation.
    At least one person in the relationship has to be willing to subordinate their careers to the relationship. I don't care which person but (at least) one has to say the relationship or family is more important. Inevitably something in a long term relationship is going to require you to make a decision. It may be children, your job, the other person's job or even just your or the other person's values and desires.

    If you are both head strong and have your life goals, you have it planned out and nothing is going to interrupt it. Then eventually something is going to happen to screw it up

    Don't get me wrong I have seen two people meet, go through school, get careers, and live happily ever after, but they are few and far between where someone hasn't had to make a few concessions maybe both. Sometimes they appear to have the fairytale but harbor resentment.

    If you and him are not interested in changing plans to accommodate the relationship, it's better to find out now.

    You're looking for someone who will FIT in to your dreams, he's looking for someone who will FIT in to his. But the dreams are going the opposite direction.

    Few people truely have the LOVE, or relationship where both would be willing to give up everything, live in the poor house, not knowing where their next meal is coming from, as long as they can be together they will happy.

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  • Lusty-Argonian
    2 years ago

    Thats good you know its not meant to be. You each have different paths to take in this life

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  • harkosv
    2 years ago

    I don't mean this as an attack because I don't think there's enough context to know where you're coming from, but it seems kind of selfish. You, understandably, don't want to move because your job is here, your friends are here, your family is here, etc. but what about his job, family, and friends? Does he have none of those things were you currently live? Does he want to move so he can be closer to his own friends and family? There's more to consider here than how it affects just you

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      2 years ago

      Um how am I being selfish? He lives in the same place as me. He wants to move away from his family and friends. I want to stay put. He's the one wanting to move far away not me. No he doesn't have a job yet he's finishing his degree. I have a whole career here.

      I can't believe you read that and immediately thought I was selfish lol

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      • harkosv
        2 years ago

        Reread what you wrote. 90% of your concerns have to do with how moving either with or without your boyfriend will affect you and only you. I didn't see any point in which you expressed nearly as much concern for how the move (or lack thereof) would affect him as it would you

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          2 years ago

          Are you stupid or something? He's the one wanting to move not me lmao. It doesn't affect him we live in the same state genius. His whole life is here not on the opposite side of the US. He knows no one in the other state. If he did don't you think I'd include that in my post? Critical thinking isn't your strong suit eh?

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  • RoseIsabella
    2 years ago

    He's probably just as set on wanting to move as you are on wanting to stay.

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