What is it like to date an a-sexual

21 Comments

During covid i've been hanging out with my friend who recently we've been getting really close. She just told me that she identifies as an A-sexual.

Honestly, I still want a relationship with this person... but as somebody who a normal sex drive is this something that can work out?
Everything else between us is great, its just the lack of physical affection that might not meet my needs.

I know next to nothing about A-sexuals and would love some advice from somebody who identifies as one or has dating somebody who does.

I really want to ask out this girl, but am I barking up the wrong tree?

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Comments ( 21 )
  • ThatOneGuyYouNeverWantToMeet
    3 years ago

    Never dated an Asexual but I am one & I was dumped for the exact same reason every time. Because I wouldn't fuck them, was like "Bitch we haven't even dated for 3 months yet, i'm not doing something I hate for someone i'm not even sure I love yet".

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    • SkullsNRoses
      3 years ago

      I once angrily dumped someone I’d never slept with by text saying,
      “Fuck you”
      They responded,
      “I wish you would!
      Fuck me that is”

      It was the worst come back I’ve ever witnessed.

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      • ThatOneGuyYouNeverWantToMeet
        3 years ago

        Haaaaa

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    • ellnell
      3 years ago

      Same

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  • DeletThis
    3 years ago

    Nah dude. If you have a normal sex drive, it isn't for you. Unless she is one of those who will play along just to keep you around. It's also possible that she's told you she's asexual just to get you to stop barking up her tree at all.

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    • bigbudchonga
      3 years ago

      Yeah I think you're right with this, dude. "I'm asexual" seems like the perfect, modern way of letting someone down easy.

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  • SkullsNRoses
    3 years ago

    Some asexuals don’t like sexual activity at all, if this is the case you two will be incompatible and should remain as friends.

    I have spoken to asexuals online who do engage in sexual activity with their partners, asexuality is not a lack of feeling in the genitals and some asexuals enjoy the physical feeling despite not being attracted to their partner.

    The best thing to do is have an honest talk about it, ask her if she is sex averse and if she is be respectful and say although you like her you two wouldn’t work together. If she isn’t then see how it goes.

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  • BleedingPain
    3 years ago

    Dont do it. Im in the same boat as her and it sucks majorly. I have a low sex drive, but the person that I think is my soulmate (or some bullshit) has a high sex drive. I know what I have to do, but I dont know if I have the strength to do it.

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  • Cuntsiclestick
    3 years ago

    You said that a lack of physical affection might not meet your needs.

    That pretty much answers your question. You are barking up the wrong tree.

    You need someone that has a sex drive. She needs someone with little to no sex drive. If you two get into a relationship, it'll just end in disaster.

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  • a-curious-bunny
    3 years ago

    Not enough sex I imagine. If I dont have to "wprry" about my guy fucking me in my sleep or making me his b every now and again I just couldn't do it. Girl needs some excitement. I bet it sucks dating those people. Idk how they do it

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  • bbrown95
    3 years ago

    This is something that very much depends on the person, but I think if this person has little to no sex drive and you have more of a normal one, then yes, chances are you will feel unfulfilled and the two of you will be incompatible.

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  • Tommythecaty
    3 years ago

    There’s no such thing, only sexually and emotionally stunted people who use it as an excuse for not getting over said stuntedness and growing up. Just because you ignore it doesn’t mean it’s not there.

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    • bbrown95
      3 years ago

      As someone with no sex drive (and I truly don't believe I have any), it's not a matter of ignoring it. It sometimes just isn't there with certain people. I don't feel I've ever had a sex drive, and probably never will. I've been told for years that I'm "just not ready yet", but I'm 25 going on 26, so I think if I'm not ready by now I never will be. I've never felt "turned on" or anything.

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      • Tommythecaty
        3 years ago

        It might be a stupid question but did you ever masturbate? Because I have a hard time believing a person hasn’t at 26 years.

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        • bbrown95
          3 years ago

          Not that I can remember. Never really saw a reason to.

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          • Tommythecaty
            3 years ago

            That weeeeird man.

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            • bbrown95
              3 years ago

              I know, lol. It's just... not there.

              The only thing I can think of besides I was born this way, is that I've been on birth control since puberty (for medical reasons), and I'd be in a lot of pain if I got off of it, so I think if that is what is causing it, it's a fair tradeoff. A lot of the people I've talked to seem to think this is a possibility, but I'm not sure and it doesn't really bother me either way.

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  • katsumoto
    3 years ago

    So far the answers have been pretty not helpful.....

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