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"It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both."
I'm keep on thinking about "what did this person mean when he said this." So I thought why not ask the users on this site what their opinions are on this quote.
I'm my thoughts, I guess it's basically saying don't become a people pleaser; those who choose to be that way are not secure in their own bodies.
| I do not agree | 56 | |
| I do agree | 20 | |
| I agree and disagree in my thoughts | 24 |
Not for me. I'd rather be loved than feared. Imagine how awful it must be to scare people just by existing. I don't see wanting love from others as insecurity and why the idea of other's having an influence on your self esteem is some really bad or strange thing. If it's excessive, then yeah. But isn't fear a bit excessive? I don't want to make people scream just by tying my shoelaces:P.
It was Machiavelli, who was talking about persons in power, not friends or family. He meant that it was best to have the love of the people, while they feared you, but you can rule by fear alone, if need be. In real life fear blocks love, and will never work with friend or family. Love them and they will love you. If they fear you, they will eventually hate you.
In addition to everything everyone else has said, I also think the author of that quote confuses being feared with being respected. I can't think of a single situation where the best thing would be to be outright feared, but I think some people try (unsuccessfully) to use fear as a way of gaining respect (usually because they give no reason to be legitimately respected).
^This. Fear does not = respect. Respect should be expected from everyone who are themselves respectable. Once respect is established, harmonious relationships fall into place, leaving nothing to be desired. Love is reserved for a select few. However, love fundamentally entails respect. It also seems that the author feels a need to be feared because he/she wants to control others' behavior. This is misguided, because not even fear can do that. People are unpredictable when they are afraid. Love is truly most powerful, people will commit everything to someone with whom they are in love. When someone is feared, people will merely do whatever they can to avoid/eliminate the threat.
I think the person who said this does not understand love. Who uses love as a power play? That's what it sounds like to me. Almost an obsessive sort of love...scary.
I think this person is more or less trying to say that if he can't be loved, then he'd rather be feared, instead of not being thought of at all, or looked down upon.
It may be better to be feared on a very short term basis, but it's a self destructive path in the end. Either the people you oppress will rise up against you or one who desires the power you attain will seek to take your place.
Love is something badly needed in the world today, while we're all so busy judging and killing each other.
Analyzing quotes like these remind me too much of my 12th grade English class. No thank you.
I think that they were describing me.
I only want love, and to be loved, but some people fear me, I don't know why.
Machiavelli was speaking with a priority of control. You Get more obedience from fear. Most of us have better priorities.
"I want people to be afraid of how much they love me"
but seriously I've had a similar belief, because if you're feared/hated, at least you are still known
It's better to do the right thing above all else.
Especially when it comes to human lives.
That is kinda my life, i have always been feared, but that did not mean i did not have friends.
In the last years it has become less and less, but i can still see that do tend to steer away from me.
o.O No.
I don't want to be feared by anyone. Well, anyone that isn't willing to kill me, anyway. In the conventional sense, I do not want others to fear me. I am not a person of evil repute. I'd rather be loved than feared. You can't have any real relationship with a person who fears you. Their respect for you will only last as long as they fear you.
Maybe because this person didn't want to live up to people's expectations. If they were feared, nobody expec anything good from this person. It is like if I was to chose between born being blind, or go blind because of an accident during life, I would choose the first, because that way, at least I grew up this way, and I don't feel like I have lost something.
It is for some, not for others.
The quote is neither accurate nor inaccurate, but infact irrelevant for this very reason.
I completely agree. If an authority figure seems weak they can not get anything done. If you can get respect and have the ability to lead having fear is not always necessary. Being loved is less relevant though possibly more helpful. If you can only control with fear and are not loved or respected enough to leave that is the only way to get people to follow.