What's does this make me

What does this make me about psychology?

I do think lot, I'm obsessed with destroying Religion, I'm obsessed trying learn to fight my learning disability and its holds me back. I think about problems of my families, Since my family religious… I do think they talk to themselves in praying, it's sorta runs in family about talking and no ones there in the room.
( you know being too crazy and crazy talk madness)

I never relax, I always in dark ( it may sound depression I'm used to it for five years) sadly I don't know how to cried, my eyes it cries on it own with no emotion, sometimes I forgot what's it ment to be happyiness of joy…maybe I missed my twin who died or maybe I Died from inside due to this disability and deafness I was born with.

due to my psychopathic dad " I blame him for spread his disorders and for his drinking made me have disability". I do see things but no one believes me. It's actually shadows moving and voices, I ignore them lot, I'm used to in dark room with lights turn off. My sleeping is sleep apnea, I sleep lot day In and day out.

I'm not normal, I actually crazy guy who have crazy talking and people reply saying " what" or " WTF" or no response to my questions.

I barely have friends…… since a religious, I'm actually atheist and somehow I gone mad due to fighting my illness such illusions I get when I was little kid.

But I'm not bad… I do cared about my family, I just wanted be happy again when I was little boy, I always positive then as you grow up " you changed"

That's about it, if you didn't understand then I'm trying my best to fixed my grammar due to learning disabilities.