What should we do with our unwanted senior citizens?

We have a problem with excess senior citizens, and it needs to be addressed! Seniors represent a useless, yet rapidly growing population.

One simple way to increase the usefulness of seniors is to regulate the craft and sewing industry. Why are we allowing stores to sell out of style fabrics and publications that show how to make clothing no one would be caught dead in? All we have to do is only sell 'hip' craft supplies and sewing/knitting instructions for clothing we'd actually wear. Next time Gramma makes you something, you'll be excited instead of repulsed.

Old women tend to have good penmanship, so why can't we all have our own personal letter writer? I just call up ol' Gladys and dictate my letter and bang, done! I don't have to waste ink from MY printer and it's quicker than me having to write the letter myself.

It would be useful to rent-a-geezer so you can cut in lines, get handicapped parking and other such benefits AND it benefits the oldster too because they get a day on the town.

Since old people get free medical care and have a Dr on speed dial, anytime you have an ailment have your adopted old person fake the symptoms to their Dr and get the medicine and give it to you.

Finally, old people still think a quarter is a LOT of money so we could hire them for virtually any job and get away with paying them pocket change. If they complain, then argue back with: "If $1 was good enough for my 16th birthday, then by God it's good enough for a weeks salary!"

Do you have any more ideas?

is it normal to want to find ways to keep the elderly involved and productive in a modern world?

Voting Results
42% Normal
Based on 71 votes (30 yes)
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Comments ( 56 )
  • NeuroNeptunian

    I am pretty sure that there is a degree of humor to this, but I really have thought about this and I think that it is sad that the worth of a person, in our society, that has already given so much, diminishes once they become "useless".

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    • redmond221

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    • It's common to look at an oldster and think they have worked so hard and contributed so much, but the reality is much less romantic. Many never worked and many these days are actual convicted criminals! The days of the 'walked uphill in the snow both ways to school' old person are long gone. Today's seniors were largely shiftless couch potatoes compared to their parents and grandparents. They're mean, they're nasty and they act entitled to everything. The free ride must end!

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      • NeuroNeptunian

        Your views regarding their worth and your suppositions of their life stories are irrelevant. Just because you think it, just because it seems that way and just because it is your "observation" of society, does not make it correct.

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  • YBNormal

    Reduce, Reuse, Recycle.

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  • MeHTa

    And that, my friends is a product of such literature such as Twilight... Let me remind you that the now elderly have built this country to be what it is now. I won't even try to argue, the author is either a troll or a very uneducated and stupid person.

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    • disthing

      I don't think Twilight the sparkling vampire franchise has anything to do with the view that the elderly become 'useless' once they cease to work :/

      Anyway, I'm thinking the OP was sort of kidding.

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    • Uneducated and stupid? I may be one, or the other, but certainly not both. I'm not either, though, for the record.

      Thanks for bringing up the excellent point that the sad state of affairs we find ourselves in these days is the elderly's fault. I agree wholeheartedly!! If they had raised their kids better, focused on education instead of bullshit World Wars, weren't a bunch of racist pigs and religious fanatics, maybe this world would be a better place right now. But noooooo, thanks to the elderly we are all poor, stupid, lacking manners and still at war with each other.

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      • I always like to jump in when people talk about how "bad things are nowadays...so much worse than the generations before" and "how fucked up things are today."

        60 years ago, 16 year olds served in most militaries; in many cultures, 14 year old girls were expected to be married and making babies; women lived in servitude to men as second class citizens. Would you like to be a black man or woman in the 1950s? You'd get to experience racizm on a whole new level. Life expentancy was 61. People died from simple infections. If you suffered from a back or knee injury, you were crippled till the day you died...

        You think we're poor now? Many of us in 1st world countries have NO idea what poor really is. Most of our grandparents, if they were lucky enough to find work, labored 12 hour days, six or seven days a week just to feed our parents, who didn't throw a fit because they couldn't get the latest iphone or go to ivy league colleges...

        ...I could go on.

        We owe a great deal of gratitude to the our parents and/or grandparents. Someday, you'll be there...and your children will whine about how fucked up the world you left them is.

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        • tl;dr...but skimmed over enough to know what I said agreed, but wrapped it up in a nutshell.

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      • frist

        Sadly you seem to be rushing to join this apparent human cesspool before you even reach old age. Incredibly judgemental, harsh and bigotted comments. Rather than complaining about your inheritance maybe you could focus on making it a better place?

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      • They left us a much better world than what they grew up in.

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  • Tarkio

    You are really screwed up and not funny at all. it is called s-o-c-i-a-l-p-a-t-h.
    What is next? Bring back the Nazis? Find a hobby loser.

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    • dirtybirdy

      Pfftt! What the fuck is a 'socialpath'??

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      • Who_Fan4Life

        It's a path in which people walk down to socialize.

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        • dirtybirdy

          Oh I see. Then I shall ride my bike down the cyclepath to get to the socialpath.

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        • disthing

          Hahaha

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    • KnightNigelWellingtonXXI

      *Sociopath*

      Signed,
      Knight Nigel Wellington XXI

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      • Justsomejerk

        Irony of the day.

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  • Fammer3

    You better be joking, else you are a disrespectful piece of sh**.

    -To keep the elderly active; good.
    -Everything else you said; wrong.

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  • sebastiantheunicorn

    Or we could just throw them in a pit and have them all fight to the death.

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  • lufa

    I think old people should end their lives when they have reached the point of becoming dependent on others for almost everything.

    The problem is that most people are too stupid to realize when it's their time to go. Instead they end up letting cancer end their lives in a very painful and slow way.

    When I get old, I will definitely commit suicide once I am barely able to take care of myself and the value of life has deteriorated.

    Unfortunately the OP has a point in that we're going to have a large elderly population to deal with who will be draining our medical resources and causing other major problems in society.

    Still there's little that could be done about it-that will be up to the politicians, incidentally another group of pretty useless people.

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    • BLAh81

      "I think old people should end their lives when they have reached the point of becoming dependent on others for almost everything."

      That's up to them.

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  • nursebetty

    Your totally fucked in the head and so is whoever agrees with this bullshit!

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  • You sicken me sir!

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    • BLAh81

      Me too.

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  • dirtybirdy

    They make good speed bumps.

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  • kelili

    We'll all be old one day

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    • frist

      If we live that long

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    • Not if we die before that happens.

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      • kelili

        Most of us will die old

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  • KeddersPrincess

    Eat them.

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    • They're tough and stringy due to age. That's not a good idea.

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  • Isthisit

    I sure would like to be able to talk with you when you get to be may age. I am 73. I think you are a damn fool, but perhaps we will solve the problem so concerning you before you get to my age so that you can die at an early age. You can go now if you like. I won't miss you.

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  • Francophile22

    A note to the troll: why don't we load all of them up and drop them on you. And BTW when you hit whatever you consider too old, why not off yourself, nobody would miss you, in fact you're a real PITA.

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  • AbnormallyAwesome

    I laughed so hard. I thought you were a sarcastic comical genius.

    But then I read your comments and I have to say: You're either overdoing it or you're actually just a prick.

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    • BLAh81

      My thoughts exactly.

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  • Avant-Garde

    You make some good points. Judging from your title, I thought the solution might be something like "Children of Men" where the old are expected to go drown themselves.

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  • TonybigCock

    Get rich or dye trying. I know plenty of multi millionaire 70, 80, 90 year olds who are getting sucked off regularly by women less than half their age. Age is a state of mind, if you get depressed and obsessed with the perceived disadvantages of age, or sad about losses, you will shrivel up and die.

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  • TerryVie

    Soylent Green.

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    • Imposturously_yours

      Ah, can't believe your comment was thumbed down.. I LOL'ed :)

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  • Tia_

    That TV show dinosaurs had it right at a certain age roll them up a cliff and off they go.

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  • volker_muller55

    The infirm and elderly are a burden on society. They consume resources and don't contribute. Kill them when they stop being useful. Simple. My name is Nikolis Schreck.

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    • BLAh81

      Are you serious?

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  • KekReptilian

    YOU should be pimped out to prisoners for anal sex.

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  • hairyfairy

    It`s all the fault of the pre-war generation that there are so many senior citizens about now, because just after ww2, people bred like flies, so causing overpopulation. They should have shown some restraint & used contraception or stopped having so much sex.

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  • GoraIntoDesiGals

    I believe life expectancy should decrease again. Pensions are a ponzi scheme anyway and nobody accepts to work more years.

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  • ccjigsaw

    I didn't read all that. But I thought I'd add in here that senior trailer home parks look way nicer than anything goes trailer parks. Says something about those old farts

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  • ZooManOtroy

    Sorry people but the people who built this country are long passed. The people who destroyed it on the other hand (boomers) are the current seniors, and they screwed us good!

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  • idntknwy

    I think this is just ignorant.. thats all i will say.. no its not normal

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  • Chotusstroker83

    Sell them as sex toys

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  • lalcina

    thats rude. obviously you have no family if you dont even care about grandmas and grandpas.

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  • PapzBSlim

    With God's will, or if you don't believe in God, pure luck you will be of old age one day. I do not think they are useless or worthless. If you actually can have conversation with some elderly, you can learn from them. This younger generation relies so much on technology and it becomes havoc when a machine goes down or the power goes out. I remember when Hurricane Wilma hit and people had to add prices and taxes to items, it took them forever because they have lost that skill for math by depending on calculators so much. That is besides the point, I know.

    Only problem I have with the elderly is their driving habbits. By them driving under the speed limit and having bad reaction timing, I feel that a person should have a mandatory, free drivers test every year starting at retirement age. I live in Florida and the traffic is horrible, but manageable. It is just dangerous that when you are driving the speed limit and change lanes and almost slam into the back of an elderly driver because the speed limit is 45 and they are doing 30, for no reason. Still, cell phones cause more accidents.

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  • IrishPotato

    YES. <3

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  • squeallikeasacofpigs

    Burn em

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  • Chotusstroker83

    Force them to become prostitutes.

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