What the fuck is long pork?

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When I was in the Amazon on a long boat ride through the jungle, I came across a village where I briefly stayed. Anyways, this restaurant served something called long pork, and I ordered it thinking it was like pulled pork. I don't know what it was, but the stuff was weird. Tasted funny. What was this stuff though? Because it definitely wasn't pork or anything I have had before or since.

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Based on 6 votes (3 yes)
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Comments ( 7 )
  • Doesnormalmatter
    4 years ago

    It is the dicks of asexual guys that have been cut off while they were hard.

    Just kidding mate, I have no fuckin clue!

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    • LloydAsher
      4 years ago

      Its slang for human flesh. Used in the context of amazonian tribes.

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      • Doesnormalmatter
        4 years ago

        Really? I was closer than I anticipated! lol!

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  • LloydAsher
    4 years ago

    Troll, long pork is no longer served in the Amazon. Actual pork is served along side fish.

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  • EggKegg
    4 years ago

    Oh god I hope this is a joke.
    If not then I’m sorry for this...
    Long pork, also called ‘long pig’ is slang for human flesh.

    https://grammarist.com/archaic/long-pig/
    https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/long_pork

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      4 years ago

      Oh my God?!?!?! I'm utterly traumatized!!!! So, THAT WAS HUMAN FLESH?!?!?!?! This was years ago, but I'm absolutely in a state of shock right now!!!!

      It had a very strange, highly distinctive taste unlike anything else, just a totally weird flavor. But there was one other time that I noticed it.

      Back in early January, 2013, I went to the UK on a business trip and had a Tesco burger and I noticed much subtler taste of whatever I ate in the Amazon, which was rather odd. I just can't explain that, because like I said the "long pork" stuff really had a weird, unique taste that's really recognizable yet indescribable in its strangeness.

      And I absolutely CANNOT BELIEVE that that stuff was fucking human flesh! I honestly am absolutely traumatized and never in a million years considered that!!!!! Honestly, I thought perhaps it was capybara or tapir. Or maybe horse meat, since like I said, it tasted a little like those Tesco burgers. But HUMAN FLESH!!!! I'm stunned!!!!!

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      • EggKegg
        4 years ago

        Jesus, that’s horrible.
        I guess on the bright side, you’ve had an experience very few have had and it would make for quite the story.

        I’m sorry you had to go through that, maybe it’s good you found out so much later...
        Well you’ve taught us all here not to trust anything named “long pork/pig”

        But god that’s messed up, I hope this won’t be something that turns you off foods or a thing to dwell on, but if it does, just maybe pretend to yourself you ate something else or just remind yourself, you couldn’t have known.

        If it does become something really traumatising, here’s a something that helped me feel better after seeing some really horrid and sickening video: https://youtu.be/ASDx0J05FDA

        Hope it helped if this freaked you out a lot, hearing what you were saying you were very understandably unnerved by this.

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