Why am i so jealous of everyody about everything?

I am having a similar problem...in fact, this came up on a Google search I just conducted. I have gotten to the point where jealousy has become a major obstacle in my life (and it sounds like you have too). Not so much with every situation, but mostly with people who I am similar to (or who I feel are living out my dream life that I can't have now that I'm married and set in my career). I'm considering getting counseling, and I know others have suggested that for you.

But I would also encourage you to attempt to redirect your jealous energy into being grateful for things. It could be little things like writing down 5 things that you were thankful for each day. A lot of others have suggested it on this board and I think that focusing on what you are grateful for/thankful for/etc. might slowly redirect your obsession with jealous thoughts. It's a steep and slippery slope, but it might make a difference!

I also realized that one of the reasons I was feeling jealous all the time was because I was surrounding myself with intensely competitive people ("friends") who were constantly throwing their good fortunes in my face...and it wasn't so much in a "sharing" way, but a bragging way. I think it would help for you to evaluate your friendships as well. Who shares mutual encouragement with you (they are just as happy for you as you are for them)? Who do you feel at peace around and don't feel the need to compete with? I think that weeding through your social circle might alleviate some anxiety and make you feel less prone to competition that often leads to jealousy. Of course, I'm speaking from what I'm trying to do personally and this may not work for you. But I wish you the best.

Quote by Osho:

Jealousy is comparison. And we have been taught to compare, we have been conditioned to compare, always compare. Somebody else has a better house, somebody else has a more beautiful body, somebody else has more money, somebody else has a more charismatic personality. Compare, go on comparing yourself with everybody else you pass by, and great jealousy will be the outcome; it is the by-product of the conditioning for comparison.

Otherwise, if you drop comparing, jealousy disappears. Then you simply know you are you, and you are nobody else, and there is no need. It is good that you don't compare yourself with trees, otherwise you will start feeling very jealous: why are you not green? And why has God been so hard on you -- and no flowers? It is better that you don't compare with birds, with rivers, with mountains; otherwise you will suffer. You only compare with human beings, because you have been conditioned to compare only with human beings; you don't compare with peacocks and with parrots. Otherwise, your jealousy would be more and more: you would be so burdened by jealousy that you would not be able to live at all.

Comparison is a very foolish attitude, because each person is unique and incomparable. Once this understanding settles in you, jealousy disappears. Each is unique and incomparable. You are just yourself: nobody has ever been like you, and nobody will ever be like you. And you need not be like anybody else, either.

God creates only originals; he does not believe in carbon copies.

A bunch of chickens were in the yard when a football flew over the fence and landed in their midst. A rooster waddled over, studied it, then said, "I'm not complaining, girls, but look at the work they are turning out next door."

Next door great things are happening: the grass is greener, the roses are rosier. Everybody seems to be so happy -- except yourself. You are continuously comparing. And the same is the case with the others, they are comparing too. Maybe they think the grass in your lawn is greener -- it always looks greener from the distance -- that you have a more beautiful wife.... You are tired, you cannot believe why you allowed yourself to be trapped by this woman, you don't know how to get rid of her -- and the neighbor may be jealous of you, that you have such a beautiful wife! And you may be jealous of him....

Everybody is jealous of everybody else. And out of jealousy we create such hell, and out of jealousy we become very mean.

An elderly farmer was moodily regarding the ravages of the flood. "Hiram!" yelled a neighbor, "your pigs were all washed down the creek." "How about Thompson's pigs?" asked the farmer. "They're gone too." "And Larsen's?" "Yes." "Humph!" ejaculated the farmer, cheering up. "It ain't as bad as I thought."

If everybody is in misery, it feels good; if everybody is losing, it feels good. If everybody is happy and succeeding, it tastes very bitter.

But why does the idea of the other enter in your

Today I googled "why am I so jealous" and came across this forum. Except for a few changes to the story, I felt like I had written this! I HATE being so jealous, believe me, but it's like having your stomach growl, you can't control it. I'm married, have 2 beautiful children, I have a job...yet I secretly envy my family, friends, even strangers. I wish horrible things upon them so I will be the better. My friend at work is gorgeous and gets compliments and asked out for dates constantly. She just met a new man that bought her a $300 purse "just because". My best friend and her husband make a ton of money and are going to Hawaii again this summer and buy whatever they want. Both just got new cars, while mine is rusting and just got a gas line fixed. The house we have looks like something from the 1970's and we don't have the money to fix it up. I know...boo hoo...poor me, but when something bad happens to my friends/family, inside my head I'm like "YES!" when something good happens to them I'm like "It figures, nothing good ever happens for me". I've been to counseling, I'm currently on antidepressant medication, I see a Dr. regularly but this jealousy can not be controlled. I do like the quote from Osho and I wish I could take my brain out and insert that in. I've never known anyone like me and I wonder what it would be like to have a friend that was just a jealous as me.

some of you guys dont understand.... the author doesn't WANT to be jealous cause she DID say that she hates that she can't feel happy for anyone...cause no matter what happens, she cant feel happy for her friends ..... i know how that feels cause i hate it when i cant feel happy for my friends/ families accomplishments.....i hate it, i know that i am lucky compared to many people in the world but i cant shake the feeling off either =S

Yoy, just like alot of people (mostly idiots), are trying to confuse jealousy with envy. Two seperate things. I'm not even going to explain it, look it up on wikipedia or something.

And you have only the lightest bit of envy, the rest, is a deep seated emotional issue.

Probably your parents expected alot from you, so you try and expect to much from yourself today, then you try and lump all your issues into one thing, and your best guess is..... your jealous. You have complex issues that need to be addressed individualy, not lumped together. Take some time for yourself and figure them out seperatly.

I'm totally the same way. I'm going to seek help soon. It's a really bad trait to have. I genuinely want to be happy for someone's accomplishments and happiness. I don't want to put on an act anymore that I'm happy for them. My boyfriend of several months has treated me like a queen, yet I'm still picturing and imagining all these girls that he told me about in the past before he met me. I'm picturing also the great times he spent the nights with them. Talk about extreme jealousy. This is one example. But I know that I'm the best girl for him. He tells me all the time that he loves me and always looks at me with loving eyes. He's always there for me when I need him. He wants to have kids with me too. Yet I can't help shake the images off the numerous women that he had in the past. This will ruin the relationship if I don't stop this right now. I want to be free of this jealousy and really start living my life!

neither normal nor healthy. it sounds like you aren't happy with much in your own life; you know you have things to appreciate but you obviously aren't satisfied, and that's obviously a frustrating way to live your life.

maybe try volunteering? do something where you can help people less fortunate than you and maybe you can realize that people struggle to try and get what you have, and that people don't necessarily deserve what they get- so they try hard and when they get lucky, they are happy and expect their friends to be happy for them as well.

everyone gets jealous, sometimes for stupid stuff, that's normal. but to constantly compare yourself to others will get you nowhere.

like i said, maybe if you give your time to help make people happy, like visit the elderly or mentor a child, you will be positively rewarded and come to really appreciate what you have.

I love you. You and I are the same person.

You compare yourself to others & feel inferior. Work on yourself instead.

You're just insecure. Learn to love your place in life. Get over all the bull shit. Peace.

oh my! i am exactly like you! thats why i browse bout these feelings coz i feel i will never be able to enjoy life.

when i was in my 20s to late 20s i was always petite 5' with 110 lbs body weight and i had a very good paying job six figures, luxury car and apartment. i always went to the best salon or spa ever coz i kept thinking i need to get the best to look better than this or that person. it was really bad coz i even jealous of my own sisters, cousins, everyone, even thou theyre so much younger than me and still in school at that time,

even when people complimenting me how lucky i was i still think "yeah whatever youre just saying that" and it never satisfied me.

and then of course i got jealous of people who have kids,

and now im 33 pregnant with my third kids, the only one working for husband, two kids, one baby on the way, paying mortgage and bills including our family van, im better in comparing myself because the hard life hit me that why i never appreciate simple things in life before.

but of course now im 160 lbs, and pregnant, when im around my sisters and younger cousins sometimes i couldnt help thinking how lucky they are so thin beautiful always have time to get ready looking pretty while im looking like crap an busy chasing my two toddlers. and when i let that thought get to me, i'll start thinking they are so lucky theyre not married yet, oh they have nice watch i want one too (i ended up having so many watches and still not happy), and when they picked the tab i would started wondering how much they make is it bigger than me blablabla.coz it used to be me who picked the tab.

this is the reason why im browsing this topic today since i just came back eating out for my cousin's bday. lol

anyway my point is, like most people said in here, we have to recognize that feeling and started to block it and make lists of things that we are fortunate about. i worked with lots of cancer patients so what helped me is looking at how sad when theyre diagnosed and terminal, or how homeless even struggle to get food for today, then itseasier for me to start feeling lucky and appreciative.

i went through some psych conseling too in the past and im not saying im over these jealousy, or even if it is something possible to get rid completely, but just knowing some people struggle with what ur struggling too, and it is possible to reduce it and started being happy for urself.

It's crazy to read this because I feel the same way! I have an ex-friend that I chose to push out of my life because deep down I was jealous of her wit, the way she got what she wanted without caring about what others thought, her good fortunes, etc. etc... Well, since she's practically family, I still see her and hear about what she's doing and it makes me extremely jealous of her position in life now, both her and her husband work, take vacations, she got breast augmentation, has an awesome paying job, her kids are adorable, while me, on the other hand, don't work, husband is laid off, we use coupons, etc.. what i think makes me envious of her is that how she is now, used to be me years ago.. I had that job, I had my boobs done, I went on vacations, and now I can't even find a job in this economy and I'm mad that she found that same job when I was more qualified than her (have experience, whereas she didn't)... when my family talks about how she's getting this, bought an expensive vacation package, etc.. i can't help but wish her ill.. i constantly check her fb page even though i was the one that deleted her from my life.. i can go on and on..

now im trying to be positive about the great things in my life like my husband and kids, but it's hard to not think about her. i constantly compare myself to her and want whatever she has and much more.. she pops in my mind like 20x a day.. it's sad, pathetic, i know.. im shallow, i care that she spent 7,000 on stainless steel appliances and flat screen tv, and i know all these tidbits b/c her hubby is really close to my husband and they always chit chat.. i care that she goes shopping every weekend and eats at good restaurants when my family is buying dollar menu items.. i care because that used to be me 5 years ago, and she was in the position that i am now, and she used to want to be me and with her determination she became what i was and more.. and even though i'm more book smart, her street smarts have me beat.. i feel defeated.. and stupid b/c when i was at my high point i kicked her out of my life for stupid reasons and now she won't even look at me in the eye b/c she knows that she is so much better than me. i envy her life.. her job.. her vacations.. her determination.. her wit.. her street smarts.. her confidence.. her friends.. her husband..

praying helps though..

This I think isn't strange so its pretty normal to be jealous of someone or everyone for that matter. Its human nature I guess, to want the biggest and best things in life, but your story sounds really distressing. I can't imagine being jealous all day everyday of anyone. Its not strange to be jealous but perhaps this stems from a childhood moment? Maybe when you were younger you didn't have the best things, clothings, games, etc...
but you saw others did, and as a kid you missed out on the fun they had with those things. So now that you're older, you can't help comparing yourself to others no matter how old you are. I suggest you reflect on your life, and see what you have that others don't. That might make you feel better, people suffer everyday in every part of the world. From people in Africa to the bums on the everyday street in the U.S
Imagine how jealous they are of the people that walk by in their warm clothes, go home to a roof over their heads, eat food they enjoy rather than whatever scraps they can get.

I don't know if I helped but if you need further assistance, [email protected]

I know how you feel I sometimes always feel like that it's a horiable feeling. I know the feeling and can make you feel very suicidal.

I completely understand what this person is feeling. My jealousy has damaged so many friendships and relationships even with my own family members! I wish I could offer some tried and true advice to help you but I suffer from the same affliction. Some people suggested volunteering or getting counseling. I've tried to volunteer and while it does take the focus off yourself for that moment it seems to be only a temporary fix. Not sure if counseling would help because that seems like just rehashing all the terrible things you think and feel. I like the idea of the cognitive behavioral therapy but am not sure if it can be applied to thought process.

I'm the same way haha. It really sucks.

I know where your coming from. Instead of basing yourself on material possesions try it with other things like Music, friends or hobbies. I used to have the same sort of feelings... mabye not so extreme. If you feel somthings missing from your life that may be a cause, but if it's that bad and all else fails stop posting on forums asking randomers and consult a professional.

get a regular volunteering gig in a soup kitchen or something.

Envy. It's actually considered one of the sins in Christianity but anyways that doesn't really matter. I can tell you right now that it is normal to feel that others have better things or in general are better then you. It's human nature, maybe not always to the point that it's all the time but it is very normal. There's no need to worry about it.

Being jealous is a hobby to you...? That's weird.

you are a little spoiled..... and i'm trying to be nice. you have it good. just be happy about it and get over it. you are nothing special.

I'm kinda the same way sometimes... especially when it comes to girls who my bf interracts with. one time we broke up and he screwed this girl, and for the longest time I thought she was better than me and stuff... reality is that she was ugly and fat and he did it to get back at me... it's hard to explain.

I think your parents might be like this, and you got this from them.
Its really sad but you have to work with it, im really happy im not like this. If you were my friend i would be beating you up every day!

I have the exact same problem, I'm jealous of everyone and everything, I'm always jealous and I hate it and it's ruining my life but I try not to be jealous but I can't !!

I am a good person,I think...I am always there for people when they need help; I even helped my enemies . but recently I have become so jealous on everyone for every little thing...I have never been like this before and I dont like who I am right now.
I know now why I have become so jealous and I hope my findings to help some of you reflect on your feelings ...
Recently I got a new job and I met new people. I wanted so badly to be liked by them but I still end up not talking to them at all..They told me I think to much of myself and I think I am better than them...But the truth is I never said that. However they somehow read my behaviour and decided to completely ignore me..They aren't even saying hello to me..They told me that if I will say that I am not better then them, than they will speak with me. You see? If someone is asking you to feel miserable so they can feel better of themselves, you must be happy you don't speak to them in the first place.Why am I jealous? Because I know they aren't good people and they get things they don't deserve. i am jealous on people because I think they aren't nice..but they get exactly what I wanted for so long and never happened. I never had anything in my life...I had a struggling life...or asked anything from anyone . and Now when I got something for myself,people wants to put me down...to steal it from me..I am jealous because actually deep down I think they can...and its not fair..So my point is...if you are jealous find out why...Being jealous has nothing to do really with wanting more things but wanting to feel good about ourselves. THE key is to work on your confidence and feel happy with yourself...They might live your dreams..but have you ever asked yourself if those dreams are theirs too? They can have houses,more beautiful bodies..or whatever you are searching for..but they might not be happy cause is not their dream...Their dreams is made up of the illusions they see in you as being happy and confident. I have been disappointed by people so much recently that now..I think there are no good people anymore.. That is why I am jealous.. So..if you are jealous.. You might have a right to be..but this can only hurt you..so find kind people..and be happy for them...as you know they deserve what is coming to them..and you shall find your pace.

I have been going through the same thing too. Definitely stop comparing yourself to other people. Know that God loves you personally And know that he wants the top best for you and your life.

I need help I think ...my friend at work has it easy ..she's part time ..gets to do the job she loves everyday ..Other colleagues like her ..The last 5 months we have grown apart ..she has breaks now with her new so called friend ..never goes out of her way to text me or call me or shares anything with me .. flirts with men at work and she's a lesbian and lives with her partner , which only I know about this ..yet she still insists that her feelings for me haven't changed .I'm totally gutted ... I'm hurt that she has dropped me like a ton of bricks and I feel the friendship will never be the same ..I must admit I hate my job and my life ..maybe I'm jealous or is it possible that I'm angry that she is so happy all the time

The trick is to get something limited edition so they can never haves something like it

I totally relate to and live with those exact feelings on a day to day basis and I can tell you its basically limited and ruined my life.

I will also share this with you; it hasn't helped me, really, but its true, no matter how you feel:

The grass is not always greener on the other side; its greener where you water it the most!

This is important! Commit it to memory and pull it out for thought no matter where you are on your lifes journey. I hope it helps. Someday, it just might.

HMM. Jealously is ugl'. B' cha kno wat? It 'appen. It happens.

I actually struggle with this as well, and it extends to my own family members too! I would say it is normal, but certainly not desirable. I HATE this part of myself, and I never talk to anyone about it.

I would love to feel nothing but joy and happiness when my friends start dating, get married, have a baby or get an awesome job, but I often feel bitter that it hasn't happened for me yet.

I pray a lot about it (I'm Christian) so that I can feel less bitter towards those whom I care about, but it still is a challenge for me. Prayer or talking with someone you trust about it is the best advice I can offer you.

Jealousy generally stems from insecurity, I know mine does. People will tell you to volunteer and help the needy, but that won't really address the issue, in some ways it may feed it. In those situations you are merely surrounding yourself with people in a lesser situation that yourself, empowering yourself in an illusional way.

Most of the time when I feel jealous towards someone's situation I am consciously or subconsciously telling myself that whatever the other person has I don't have it because I am not good enough. That's me, I am not saying that's you or anyone else's issue. Focusing on what you are actually telling yourself in these situations can give you the real issue at hand. It is difficult to see through all the emotions, but if you break things down logically you should be able to find it. It doesn't make it any easier to deal with, but at least you are dealing with what is underneath and not some false problem. Hope that helps.

Your not just jealous bro. Your very self centered and spiritually bankrupt. The only advice I can give you is to help other people.

dude, we can be best friends this is exactly how i feel. i was just searching about this cause i am CONSTANTLY hating on everyone... and at the end of the day i feel so bad about the "wishes" i make, "i hope they break up..." "i know that's not going to last long..." it's so sad. but i get so angry, and i have everything going for me, engaged, set in my career, just compare myself to everything..... I honestly think technology and social media sites make this worse... everyone wants to prove that they have the BEST life on there. thats just my theory though....

I have the same problem with Iamclash. I even deactivated my FB account because I don't want to know who is doing better than me. I'm isolating myself by the minute. People say i'm an attractive person. Sometimes I feel up and sometimes I feel down. It's like a roller coaster. Do I really need a professional help? I get jealous of friends mostly. I'm never jealous of my immediate family. I always try to help them out whenever I can.

I'm feeling a lot better reading these posts... I'm not alone after all... I'm feeling sick of myself being jealous and all. I don't understand why I can't be just happy and grateful with what I have rather than feeling sorry for myself.. Well, I think I'm pretty and smart too, even graduated on top of our class but I always feel stupid and pathetic. I envy people who I thought are far ahead of me.. I even deactivated my fb because seeing people achieving something is like a torture for me. I always think that I should be far ahead at this age, having this and that, happy and all but I always end up miserable.. God, I never told anyone about these miseries, I kept to myself how pathetic and sorry ass I am. Gosh! I have lots of inspirational/motivational books, even finished reading them all, well, I still feel miserable and sometimes suicidal... I pray though... thanks for letting me share...

you must realize that you are wasting you time, you are made up of dead pieces of stars, just like everything else. your life, in the grand scheme of the universe is MEANINGLESS (not trying to be an a$$hole) all of your friends, and their friends, and their bosses and the their lovers lives mean nothing, except to those close to you. So BE HAPPY for those close to you, you will never really matter to anyone else, the chances of you being important to anyone but your close friends and family are less than winning the lottery.

Love your frineds and family as much as you can.

how many great people like Gandhi come along, how many mother teresa's are there?

everyone else, the common people like you and me are the same, consumers, farmers, fodder, sheep, factory workers, dock workers, dentists, butchers, brain surgeons, janitors, cab drivers, adulterers, strippers, prostitutes, priests, lawyers, jailers, taxmen, hobos, presidents, bankers, all the same decaying matter as everything else.

I heard tonight that my sister who is four years older then I, is going to a beautiful tropical place to live for several months. When I found out, I felt extremely jealous. I would LOVE to do this! Her and her husband have alot of money. They travel alot to exotic places, have a very nice and expensive car, and a very nice home. He makes alot of money. They don't have money problems at all. I on the other hand have financial problems. I am not happy with my own life these days, so it's easy for me to feel jealous of others. Even though I want to feel happy for my sister, it's hard because I'm so unhappy and upset about what's been going on in my life. A good friend told me once that jealousy of others comes when we are not satisfied with our own lives. So true. I guess all I can do is to be grateful for the good things in my life, pray to be less selfish, pray for my sister's safety to this beautiful place, and try to improve the quality of my own life. I made my bed, and now I'm lying in it. Can't blame anyone but myself for where I'm at in my current situation. I beat myself up so much, thinking I should be far more ahead at this age, etc. I think about all the mistakes I've made along the way. I do alot of that 'should've, could've' self talk. Negative self-talk isn't good either and will bring me nowhere. I'm glad I was able to read your posts. I read them all. I'm thinking maybe that youtube might have some kind of tutorial to help people like me that get jealous of other peoples good fortunes.
Thanks for letting me vent.

Well you have something better than me. You're not fat or ugly lol x

Wow, how coincidentally insightful to my situation. It's weird how i just type go "why am i so jealous" on google and i end up reading this journal of yours. I mean everything you described is exactly what I have been going through. In fact, the reason why i went "soul-searching" on the internet just now is due to the guilt i felt after leaving this comment on facebook. awhile ago on fb, i posted how i got $400 for passing my AP exams. about a couple of minutes after, one of my friends posted he got $500, a hundred for passing each math, science, or english AP exam. Then because his comment trumped mine in the sense that he got more money than me this year, jealousy came about. even though everyone knows i also got $400 last year while he got only $100, i still felt compelled to make it known on facebook after his comment that i have a total of $800 worth of AP money, the most amount earned in our school... the funny thing about this jealousy streak is that i only express it fully when i'm by myself mostly via facebook.

anyways, i completely empathize with your situation. hopefully, we can destroy this before it destroys us.

p.s. i will be going to an ivy league too :)

I'm the same way but I'm still empathetic about their happiness.

I have the exact same problem, couldn't have explained it better myself. It's why I ended up here actually. I think it's normal until the point when it starts to ruin your life and your relationships with the people around you. I think it's not only a problem of jealousy, but also insecurity. Sometimes it doesn't seem that way because you think to yourself "I'm pretty and smart so I shouldn't worry about it." But even the prettiest people can have hard time dealing with things.

As for me, I thought a long time about what could cause this problem and I found 2 things that might. 1- I'm afraid that I wouldn't be counted on anymore if someone had something better then me. That trait is the one thing that makes me stand out in my group of friends, I'm the one that they run to if they need anything. And it makes me so happy when they ask me for something. So, if they start having better things then me, they don't have to count on me anymore. I guess maybe all that would lead to loneliness, which would be the 2nd thing I thought of. I'm thinking of going to see a counselor, wouldn't hurt to try.

No, its not normal I%%u2019m not sure what I can do I the way of advice having never experienced anything like this myself but counseling and cognitive behavioral therapy come to mind.

How on earth did you get into an ivy league school? Your grammar and your punctuation is atrocious. This reeks of lies...

This much competition isn't normal. Believe me I know what you mean when you talk about comparing yourself to your friends we all do it in a way but wishing for them to fail is taking it a bit far. You should work to ground yourself and be more thankful for what you do have. Try some charity work and talk to a therapist there may be deeper problems that are causing all this jealousy.

i would go and see a shrink.

Seek help soon. It sounds as if you have a wonderful life. Aside from not being happy for others. I grew up poor in Oklahoma and made many meals on brown beans and cornbread. Your life sounds great to me. Seek help your worth it just do it for yourself.

Yes alot of girls are jelouse of me.

Hopefully you'll grow out of it.