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This site is specifically for ADULTS, but it is crawling with underaged teenagers. Is this normal? Why are they not booted off the site? Why are their stories getting through moderation? is it normal this makes me just a little bit angry?
I had more questions at 15 than I did at 18, and more at 18 than I did at 21.
I know there are flaws in this argument but, at 15, if I had access to an anonymous adult consensus that I could ask anything, I'd have been as happy as a pig in shite. Especially if they cared enough to give me an honest answer.
It's what families should be doing and no longer are.
You know, that would be interesting, to see, in a family wise way, which user is in what position. As in, which is the youngest, middle, oldest sons/daughters. Which are the fathers and mothers. Which ones are the uncles and aunties. Which ones are the grandfathers and grandmothers, etc.
May be a stupid idea, but it was just in my head when I seen your comment.
This.
I'd also like to hear your reasoning behind the last statement, if you have the time. I'm always interested in the structure of families in our society and always interested in a new perspective.
Okay, but this is purely a personal viewpoint from observation, rather than proven thesis. I'm not presenting this as fact, more an opinion.
In any family of children, parents and grandparents, the middle generation (parents) are the social glue. They're the ones who ferry the kids to the grandparents, the ones who organise the kid's parties (and their parent's parties). They organise holidays for them and kids (which grandparents are sometimes invited to). Particularly when one of the upper generation is widowed, the middle generation become an even more important touching point between both extremes of age.
If we say the current lower generation were born in the 1980s/1990s, the middle generation the 1960s/1970s, and the elder generation the 1930s/1940s/1950s, what characterises those time periods in the western world?
The 1930s to the 1950s were recession and world war decades (and recovery from world war). Life was hard, many husbands and fathers were lost in war, people had to pull together, in some ways were forced to live in close proximity and depend upon each other.
The middle generation born in the 1960s and 1970s grew up with free love, the permissive society, huge personal freedoms, "peace", but - I think - less sense of personal responsibility, particularly towards the family unit.
As parents today, I don't think they understand their responsibility as the "middle" generation. There has always been conflict but there has always been conflict resolution. Not so much any more. People just go their own way and conflicts aren't resolved. You hear people say kids have no respect for the old. Why would they if they never get to spend time with their grandparents? You can't blame a kid for not arranging to meet their grandparents. That's what the middle generation should do, and isn't.
You and I are obviously slightly different examples of the same thing. I was given to my grandma not as a big family gathering but to remove me from the already smaller unit of my parents and I. It's the same lack of responsibility to the wider family unit.
I'm not tarring everyone with the same brush here; it's not true of every single family in every corner of every country, but it's much truer than it used to be.
Interesting...
I have been considering for a while that it is the middle generation that paved this way as they did not appreciate having so much responsibility with their family and wished for their children to have easier lives, free of responsibility.
I theorize this due to the mentality that I have heard from other Americans that it is selfish of parents to expect children to take responsibility for care of the household (such as cooking, cleaning, and aiding in care for children), something that I had done for the entirety of my life and don't complain much about. The basis for considering it selfishness being "it wasn't their fault that they were born into a working family" or other reasons. While it's true and I see the logic, in my family, my responsibilities were performed because I was given the benefit of living in a house and having food, at least that's how my parents explained it to me.
Sorry for the rant, by the way. But I have quite a bit of sympathy for members of my generation that DIDN'T get the benefit of having a life of purpose (mine being to care for the household). All for the sake of making life easier, of protecting the kids from the reality of old age (grandparents/elders) or responsibility (work). =/
Some family do this since they like to overly shelter the children. They are also kid these keep on a short leash and never have any life skills. It is not always they think its abuse but sometime they think kids are going to die if they make own food,learn clean,learn to do luandry.
I don't mind a couple underagers as long as they are mature. I think it's good for that younger age group to come here and learn when they are respectful and here for the same reasons as adult users. That's probably why they are not all booted out.
Us older folks just need to hit the user is underage button more often. Run-on sentences and butthole stories are usually the first clue.
I've noticed that all social websites are stuffed full of teenagers to the point that they assume everyone they meet on there is a teenagers.A site like this will probably attract a lot of teenagers because teenagers are just very emotional and in constant need of advice.It is annoying to not ever have a place online where it's mostly adults.
"Why are their stories getting through moderation?"
When people sign up they state they are an adult. Therefore its not the Moderators fault.
If a topic comes up with, "Hi I'm 13 and have a question..." Then this should be removed immediately including their account.
There are a number of legal issues on advising children as well.
ie Recently I replied on a topic, try Internet dating sites. Quite obviously children should NOT do this.
I hope that Moderators are on the ball. I do not want to contribute to illegal behaviour online.
I noticed that two. I have gold and keep clicking do not approve but they keep getting through.
I'm not allowed that advanced view of new topics (free member only)
But sometimes I click on topics and it says topic not found, so I know that Mods are out there.
Actually, I feel they are checking posts constantly for other reasons I've noticed too.
So I'll just give a quick thumbs up +1 to the silent Mods out there. Good job :)
Oh but watch those double posted topics, they seem to get through a bit.
No matter what adult site there is, there will always be underage people making accounts on it. As long as they don't act like immature attention whorey brats, it's fine they're here. There's no true way to weed them out anyway.
I had many more questions as a teenager than I do as an adult. I would have been thrilled to have a large base of adults to ask my questions to. We're here to help, and a lot of the teenagers on here are really quite mature for their age.
What pisses me off is the amount of teenagers that sound like they have some form of a learning disability.
A lot of teens are mature. Not all but some. I'm 20 and have some friends who are still in high school and they're pretty mature.
There have been kids on this site, like between 10-12. I agree that this site isn't for kids, because they don't have enough life exprience to give legit advice, nor do they understand some of the controversial topics. And not to mention there's a lot of sex talk, profanity and violence.
Because IIN is a perfect site for teenage issues to be discussed, but they are basically locked out since they're under 18.
oh come on, in some ways this is the fundamental teenager site! you know how much most people would have given to be able to anonymously ask some question about sex when they were 15?
I do think it's funny tho that you have to click the button that says "I am definitely 18...." and then ppl post question like "Okay, so i'm a 16 yr old girl..."
I see post's on IIN.com where people openly state that they are 16 or 17, but I see them in serious post's. I don't think the staff at IIN is unintentionally passing these post's. Oh and as regards to Yahoo Answers. That site is full of unsympathetic cock faces. It's because of the fact that there are more users on yahoo answers that IIN is a better website for emotional support and sympathy. as long as they are here acting like adults being productive members of this community. why not?
I don't think it matters that they have lots of question to ask. There are other websites that cater specifically to teenagers with banal questions about relationships and sex. If they were really as respectful and mature as they claim, they'd obey the rules of this website.
Also,how the heck is a teenager supposed to give any worthwhile advice to anyone who has questions about serious ADULT topics?:
like marriage, working, paying the bills, having and raising children, sex (if they are a virgin), handling in-laws... The list could go on and on. My point is: I would NEVER want the advice of a child on any of those topics because they don't have a clue what they're blabbing on about.
I haven't asked any questions like that yet, but knowing that half the answers are comming from children, I don't think I'd bother asking.
Listen here this site is for everybody. You don't need to be an adult to have issues. Tragedy and confusion can and will hit you regardless of your stage in life.
Yes, some are immature but some of these kids really need help and they deserve to get it.
This site isn't for everybody though. The rules clearly state you have to be a certain age to use it.
People may not agree with this but I think we have to remember the people that made and maintain this site wants it that way, so we should respect their wants or if you can't, then leave.
If these kids wanted advice, then they would go to yahoo answers like everyone else, where there are a hell of a lot more users than this site and no rules on age.
Yes, it states that you must be 18 but I always thought that rule was there because there are some pretty "adult" stories here. IIN does have a safemode. I don't think the 18 rule was created because the admin hates confused teenagers.
I was on yahoo before I came here. It just so happens I did not find it till after was a adult.
I have. It depends what catergory you are in. Most are serious apart from polls and surveys, pregnancy and parenting and religion. Other than that, when I was growing up, I got some great advice in the family, friends and singles and dating catergories.
Also do not post on a troll post on yahoo you will get reported and may have account terminated.
dont worry about it, anyhow they have opinions and advice too, plus they might learn
because they have questions to ask, and maybe they cant ask anyone else these questions. Here they can ask without being embarrassed!!
They can also ask on yahoo answers. There are more advice sites than Is It Normal. This isn't the only one. This one is just specifically for adults and I think everyone should respect the views of the Is It Normal makers or fuck off. They created this site, yet no one is respecting them and taking it for granted.
GTF outta here if you have a problem! Only immatured adults like you may have questions, but real matured adults dont have much to ask. This site is devoted to under 25s. If you say its not written here, I would also say what you said isnt applicabe either. So go to bed 60 years old grand pa!
If I ask something I don't want a bunch of 15 year olds crawling over it. I want either people my own age or close to, or people older and more experienced than I am. Rarely some teenager could offer a different perspective... But, well, rarely. Mostly, no. I wish they'd enforce the 18+ only rule. Underaged people should have their own internet or something. (Yes, I know this isn't realistic, just saying, if only.)
I think they are beginning to come down on underage users on this site
however I think they got the right approach to it because more underage users no longer got the option to unclick safe(r) mode.
this protects them from any question that do not concern them or are too inexperienced to hear which may not be true in all cases but is true for most.
Because we're young, and leased experienced than most adults. A lot of us are turning into the type of person we're going to be for the rest of our lives, and want to know if anyone is going through the same thing. I think everyone should know you shouldn't be surprised that there are a lot of teens on here. I think it appeals more to teens
I think the people who created the site couldn't care less, but they'd probably have trouble for letting people give advice to children and teenagers.
Also, the name of the site itself leads me to believe it is intended to attract teenagers who are concerned about whether or not they're 'normal' much more than adults are.
teenagers are just beginning to learn things, they might not have anyone to talk to so this website could be really helpful to them if they are unsure or worried about something. also some of the posts are really funny so its good to go on just for fun.
If you are going to lie dont advertise it in a sto re t like a idiot. That is all im annoyed about.
Even if that were true you dont adveryise your a liar! I mean lie to get in is one thing but post in a post. Hi I am 11 and I think about sex all the time is that normal? Firstly that is duh. secondly they are screaming out "hi im a liar and im going to shove it in your face".
Thankgod someone says this. It does not bother me they are here its that they advertise it like a bunch of morons. I mean if you lie do not say haha guess what im 11 I mean come on! Discuss to other users whatever but do not advertise. It is so annoying thats like sneaking into a country illegallyadvertising it than not think you will kicked out. I mean your being jerks to the leagal members .
As long as it's not those annoying little 13 year old girls that act bitchy for no reason and think they know everything, I guess it's alright. But if I see one more post about someone who can't talk to their a classmate who happens to be their crush, I'm gonna rip my arms off!
I don't mind the mature ones, but the ones that are obvious trolls just annoy me.
I'm 17...I didn't even know there was an age limit. But regardless I'm not getting off of the site that's stupid I've done nothing wrong
How the hell dont you know! do you not read the rules. It is told when you sign up. I can assume you did not sign up yourself or you would have read that. Unless you have eye problems. Does no one read them at all? I read them over 20 times. Not that difficult to to read them.