Why can't i hold it together?

A lot of those women that “make it work” are just really good at putting on a front, my wife works in medicine so she knows a large circle of “high-end” women who look like they have it all but are absolute train wrecks.

I’m a man so I can’t speak for a lot of the pressure that women feel, but I know it’s good to ask yourself whether you feel shame because you don’t have something /you want/ or you feel shame because you don’t have something you think /others want you to have/. Don’t have a baby unless you want to, don’t stick yourself with a dude unless you want to. Relationships you resent will drain you.

Also, I never recommend this cause it sounds like a joke lmao, but I feel like you would enjoy following the story of the character Princess Carolyn on the show Bojack Horseman. This show can be rough as hell to watch but there’s a couple situations and scenes that are worth seeing.

No, no, no.

A baby will not make things better, and may even in fact make things worse, as not only is postpartum depression is pretty common, but you'll likely lose a lot of sleep while taking care of a baby and it may make your issues even worse. Not to mention that it would be very unfair to a child to bring it into this world if you're currently emotionally unstable and haven't found any solutions yet, are not in a stable relationship (kids generally do best with both parents in their lives), and are depending on the child to "make everything better" (and you may even grow to resent the child when that doesn't work).

Perhaps the meds you're currently on are not working? They definitely work differently for different people, and some types will only worsen things for certain people. I think it would be wise to discuss your meds with your doctor and see if there's anything that can be tried.

Also, there are definitely childless and childfree women who make it in life, and a child is not a requirement for a successful life. You should only have a child if you really want one (with no expectations for the child to solve any problems in your life).

Hang in there. I know life can suck sometimes. I hope things get better for you!

Men and babies will not help, if anything they will make it worse. There is a certain amount that people can help each other with, and I don't like the idea of saying that people with mental health issues shouldn't be in relationships until they're all "normied-out" - which for many of us will simply never happen, BUT I do think you need a certain level of self sufficiency and certain skills in order to navigate with someone else. You can't just dump all your shit in their lap and say "here, fix me." That is going to be a shit relationship and your kids will have a shit childhood.

If it makes you feel any better I'm the queen of crying at work, I just tend to hold it in until I can get to the bathroom. There have been a few times though when coworkers caught me crying at my desk, felt pretty awkward. One lady told me later that she reported it to HR because she was so concerned because "other people get upset around here but not you, you're always the same"... XD Little did she know lol. So that's how I got chased down by HR in the bathroom.

You need to sort yourself out with regard to your mental health before trying to get involved with anyone else, and or trying to bring another life in this world. It's not the baby's job to fix your life, and sort you out.

a woman who falls to pieces over nothin and pretends to like me only until i give her a kid then throws me away after fuckin me outta a pilea money?

oh yeah what a catch

Firstly this last year has been horrible, if your mental health has declined you cannot blame yourself. A lot of us are essentially recovering from a traumatic event.

The last thing that will “fix you” is a baby. Babies are demanding, expensive and draining, how do you expect to provide a life for a dependent when you’re struggling on your own? Babies don’t fix problems, they create them and to bring a child into the world with a To Do List with “fix mummy” at the top is unreasonable and cruel.

You need professional help, not an infant to take care of. That’s not to say you should never be a mum but, for your sake and the child’s, get yourself stable first.