Why do people think i'm gay?

OK BEFORE YOU TeLL ME THAT PEOPLE CALL ONE ANOTHER GAY, THEN SHUT UP AND READ ALL Of THE POST!!

I'm into music and writing. I don't dress like a homosexual, and I don't play any "Femenine" intruments. I'm a pianist, a drummer, and a saxaphonist. I do however write poetry. People must thinks this make me gay because everybody treats me abnormally and whispers things about me as a walk by. I am SINGLE but I've NEVER had a relationship with a guy. Can anybody tell me why people think I'm gay. I just don't see anything wrong with poetry, most poets are straight.

Am I a victim of a terrible stereotype/cliche or am I doing something hiddenly wrong?

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Based on 978 votes (737 yes)
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Comments ( 47 )
  • Destro7000

    People are doing it because they're mean. Anyone who calls you something without knowing whether you are or not is making snap-judgements and not thinking about how they'll hurt you.

    Ignore them. YOU know your own sexuality.

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  • beingthatguy

    Well if you say you're not gay...then don't worry about it, it's normal.
    I'm gay (people don't know it) and I act for the most part straight. People just stereotype people, it happens.

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  • kato

    rule of life #3 - convert your weakness to strength

    there are some distinct advantages to being thought of as a 'gay guy'

    1. Girls tend to like you more.
    2. Their boy friend is calling you gay because he is sexually insecure and !! therefore a probably a lousy lover !!
    3. Girls realize that if they sleep with you, nobody will suspect anything.. (you will get mid-night visits).

    Remember: Girls are very perceptive so if a guy calls you gay - DON"T FIRE OFF A QUICK RETORT - (that will only make you look more gay!
    Just smile and give the girls a 'knowing look'.

    However I did respond to a girl calling me gay with "yeah.. but I am willing to attempt being cured.." ; )

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  • rina123

    tell them all to shut their pie holes
    i would absoulutly love to find a guy with musical and poetic talent....lol their all just jealous :pp

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  • pookypoo

    So what if they do?? Who gives a shit what anyone thinks? Not me.

    People are ignorant, uneducated and stupid. In their small narrow minds anyone who doesnt fit the stereotypical beer swilling macho man must be gay.
    Why are so many apparently straight men so overly concerned about being gay or seen as gay? Its very interesting. Straight men see it as some kind of social suicide! Its really quite pathetic. It goes to show just how narrow minded and ignorant people especially men still are about homosexuality.
    Personally I would hate to be straight. I couldnt think of anything more boring than getting married and having babies.

    PS-1.Gay men can be just as masculine/macho if not more so as straight men.
    2.To be gay is a blessing. Its difficult in such an ignorant world but through struggle and suffering comes strength and wisdom.

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  • cubinsc

    They're only picking on you because you don't try to fit in. Being different or being single is more taboo than being gay these days. Your question and background info gives me no reason to think they're questioning your sexuality.

    Do something with people for a change. They only assume things about you because they don't know you, and most people have nothing better to do than gossip about what they don't know.

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  • iminmyunderwear

    The best way to combat annoying remarks is to come out with something witty and humiliate them, and/or to make yourself look awesome.

    for example:

    'You're gay'
    'Why are you so obsessed with gays?'

    'You're gay'
    'That's not what your mum said last night'

    and if said in the appropriately sarcastic/funny but secure way this is the most effective:

    'you're gay'
    'only for you, butterballs' (or any other appropriately gay remark which will leave homophobes shitting themselves)
    Always remember to top off gay remark with a sexy wink.

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    • HabaBaba

      HAHA! Nice. I'm gonna try that.

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  • olegs69

    You are not gay; you are paranoid.

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  • Faaaaaaabulous

    I'm into rugby and beer drinking. I don't dress like a heterosexual, and I don't do any "Masculine" activities. I'm also a surfer, a builder, and emotionally stunted. People must thinks this make me straight because everybody treats me normally and whispers things about me as I walk by. I am SINGLE but I've NEVER had a relationship with a girl. Can anybody tell me why people think I'm straight. I just don't see anything wrong with rugby, most rugby players are gay.

    Am I a victim of a terrible stereotype/cliche or am I doing something hiddenly wrong?

    -Can you understand what im getting at here? lol

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  • Kia_Tallon2

    I do NOT think you're gay because you right poetry, or because you play instraments, which in my appinion is really cool!

    But when I'm at school, I'm usally, almost always around girls, and never around guys. I act gay sometimes to make my friends laugh, or to freak people out who mess with my friend.
    And at times I like acting like it because it's fun, and it helps me become a better actor, and which I don't want to be.

    And some people actually think I'm gay, some friends of mine think I'm gay, and then every laughs because they know the truth.
    Now I have to admit, I'm curious about intercourse with another male, but it doesn't mean I'm gay, I'm just curious.

    I never dated a guy in my life, and probably never will. But Don't think what others are saying, because only YOU know the true YOU, and accept the real YOU!

    I hope this helps!

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  • BarryWhite72

    To hell with what other people think man. Be youself if they don't like it tell them to go F T

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  • Yes, you are a victim of sterio types, not only you but me and a lot of other people.
    theres not much you can do about it but have Some inteligent friends.

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  • DianneMarieTurner

    People who judgementally categorize you most likely have been treated that way in the past. I don't think you don't judge people in any way, shape, or form when it comes to people. If someone teases you, obviously they wouldn't make a good friend. If they waved to you daily and said "Hello!" every time you passed by them, they'd probably become someone you'd want to be with. You know what I think? People may think your gay because someone started spreading rumors about you and people just happenend to think their rumors were true when they actually were not. They should have asked you first before they just went off with it. It does not make you gay to have those facinating talents, I adore to draw and write too. And the good part of it all is that nothing is wrong about being gay. Don't let anyone make you feel different. You are who you are and you are unique because of it. Just ignore them and do what you do best! :)

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  • Vocaloid

    lol, i know what you mean!
    i mean i'm a guy, i like girl and i'm not attracted to boys but i love romance, to draw,emotional things,... but am i gay? no lol!
    These days people call other people to fast name's i mean because i like romance i'm a fag? because i like black i'm an emo? because i like to draw i'm a girl? what's up with that? i mean people how say fag/gay to other people just wana hide the fact that they have something that they don't want any1 to know xD

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  • Sexcrzyfuck

    Just means you are Artsy, nothing wrong with that, actually just makes the guy hotter lol. people are just stupid and think if its "not in" then you must be gay.. so dont even bother what people think of you, cause in the end you will probably be better than most..

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  • SamuraiPeeper

    I had the exact same problem. I was getting into poetry as I was reading alot about music and art in the sixties. I was reading Allen Ginsberg and James Dickey and really learning to appreciate poetry as an artform and cousin to music. But people really, really lashed out against me for it. I was getting called a fag (their word) all the time behind my back. I was younger at the time so it bothered me much more than it should've, but I totally know what you're talking about.

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  • Sarcasm70

    Why should it be so important what people think of you? From what you wrote, you%%u2019re a smart and talented person who has many interests. It%%u2019s very healthy and I%%u2019m sure most of your pears don%%u2019t do half as much as you. You know what and who you are. That%%u2019s what%%u2019s important. And you should keep on doing all the things you love, no matter how that makes you look.

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  • People are stupid and will be judgmental and try to hurt you. Just ignore it all. People used to call me gay just because I can write 400+ pages in less than a year or that I don't talk. Don't worry, if you're not gay then why should you care. You're smarter than them and besides, gay isn't bad because it isn't a choice.

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    • Mulu2065

      We almost have the same name.

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  • Christoph

    Oh my goodnes, why cant people do what they wish without the threat of ridicule and discrimination. poetry is a wondeful art, that requires much talent.

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  • kittycatlover

    one of my best friends who is a boy is always called gay
    and it is mainly because of the fact he hangs out with girls more than boys, but he's not gay. he's really nice which may be another reason contributing to why people think you are gay, because you are nicer than most boys!
    its the same with girls, if she acts in a certain way that is more like a boy then she might be considered a lesbian. But just ignore them and I wouldn't worry about it if i were you, just be yourself xx
    (:

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    • firesword24

      oh shut the FUCK UP, hithere!! give the guy a break

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  • Care-free

    Probably cuz of the saxophone..... Or maybe of the way you dress!

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  • Wreckedems

    Have you ever thought about more than just playing music with your instruments? O-0

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  • That's the exact same for me, I love to write poetry and I play the drum, piano and guitar.
    But one day someone came up to me and asked "Are you gay?" and they were dead serious. I said "No, why?" and they said "One of my friends told me you were." I asked her who was the friend she said she didn't want to rat out her friend so I let it go. But I don't understand why people thought I was gay, because I don't wear high heels and I don't wear makeup and sometimes come to school in sweats and a sweater.
    Well I like to be comfy and I hate the way makeup makes my face feel! That doesn't make me gay! I was a little annoyed (not because I don't like gays or anything, I have a few gay friends, if I was gay I'd be okay with it. But I'm not and I don't like having rumours go around about me aspecially false ones!).

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  • rubikscube

    don't worry, mate. there's nothing wrong with writing poetry or playing piano etc. People just crave to make fun of anything these days. I'm sure many girls would appreciate to have such guy as yourself as their boyfriend :)

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  • Well, poetry is not gay. It's totally normal. Just be yourself. Since when does it matter what they think?

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  • Mechastar

    People call you gay because you don't tell them otherwise. Be like that guy from meet the spartans who's last words were "I'm not gay" as he fell into the bottomless pit.

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  • HabaBaba

    Same problem. I'll be on the bus listening to my music and someone will pull my headphones out and yell queer. And some kid was staring at me and I said, "What?" His reply was "Just trying to see if there is really a man under all that gayness." I don't act gay at all and don't wear "gay" clothing.

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  • shakenbake855

    never considered writing poetry to be a gay thing..are you sure thats why they think you are gay and not because of the way you dress? or pronounce words? gay people seem to pronounce words that have the letter 's' in it kind of differently

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  • joliegems

    Have you observed yourself in a mirror for awhile? You may have gay mannerism. Limp wrist, swagger with your walk, etc.

    Is you voice usually high for a male?

    If I was you I would make a video of yourself doing normal activities and watch it to see if you are doing something that could be taken as gay.

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    • Nobartholem

      I walk with whatever i have in my hands, usually with my hands in my pockets, with my Ipod in (if I'm just hanging out) I'm pretty normal looking, I'm a baritone (if you understand singing, i guess thats the only way i can measure the deepness of my voice.)
      If you don't understand what that is then look at this

      Alto(high)
      Tenor(Mid-high)
      Baritone(Mid-low)
      Bass(low)
      I don't know whats wrong. TBH

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    • You need to shut up. Gay just means you're gay. You could like boy stuff, have a deep voice, normal walk and be exactly like a straight guy. Gay is only a sexuality and it does not control what you like but your same gender.

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  • Pedacito

    Holly shit, something very similar happens to me. I'm 40 years old and i've always struggled to find a girlfriend. Thus, people sometimes suggest i'm gay. Also there must be something about my appearance or demeanor because i can see how people talk secretly about me in certain social situations. I grew paranoid about my supposed homosexuality as time went by, to the point that i started believing i might be gay. They are mindfucking me. Being a natural born paranoid and hyper sensitive kinda guy, i'm not exactly having a blast in life.
    It's refreshing to know of others having a similar struggle. I'm currently turning this issue into comedy by writting some stand-up bits about it. I hope that'll take some heat off the subject.

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  • rannockmoor

    When I was working in Aberdeen, Scotland, I remember 2 brothers falling arround whestling on the ground, a couple girls came over and asked if they were queer, One replied come down here and you will soon find out, ha ha.

    Seriously though I know what it's like to be thought of being queer when you are sexually 'normal'(strait)I'm now 68, and have been whistled at cough at, a couple of times car alarms have gone off when I'm walking accross the supermarket car park and suddenly stop as you reach the door. remember while walking with 2 Girls (of my age), we passed a couple with 2 young children, as the man passed me he gave a sharp whistle (not a wolf whistle). If there was a god it's a shame that Adam and Eve ate the forbidden fruit.

    I put it down to my very narrow head, Because of this I wear a male wig to make my head look a bit wider as I would look like a freak, a friend said it made me look like a transexual, I put this down to having a effeminate face. My cloathing is the same as other peoples, and I walk is the same as other peoples, my voice is at a normal pitch, whatever that is.

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  • Koda

    For me, having long hair does not help things. I have a lot of the same interests as you as well. I don't take offence unless offence is meant. Somebody might just think you have style and you seem particularly unthreatening or intuitive for a guy. I'd try to take it as a compliment.

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  • MsUnderstood

    I've had a similar problem. People either think I'm gay or transgender. Which I can't understand because I'm clear a chic with DD. Sorry, I don't mean to give you TMI. I'm not gay, I'm not a dude dressed as a woman. I'm a woman. People are just judgemental.

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    • MsUnderstood

      Wow, I didn't realize I posted that 10 months ago. It doesn't seem that long. Anyway, I'm making some corrections. I meant to type the following. I'm clearly a chic with DD size breast. Not DD as in developmental disabilities. As some idiots who I once worked with may think. (VQ,Inc) People of don't know me, of course, wouldn't know that.

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  • iamoutrageous

    I understand where you are coming from. When you do things that are different from a group or act differently. They call you gay. Most people don't actually know what gay means but use it.
    I am in the same boat, I think of things differently. I have interests that are feminine. I am undefined when it comes to my sexuality.
    People think I am gay. I don't. I think I am just an Outsider. Being discriminated for being an individual and different.

    The irony of people thinking that I am gay is that it is the people who are straight that think I am gay.
    The people who I know are gay don't think I am.

    This really makes me laugh!

    Gay, Straight, whatever to me are just words.

    This is all my own opinion.

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  • dallas33897

    Let me ask you something, why do you care? If you are gey, then be yourself. If you are not then also be yourself. Why do you care what other people say or think about you. Besides, just because you never had a relationship with a guy does not mean you don't want one. You could be bisexual. Only you can say who you are attracted to. I say, be with whomever you feel that desire for, and ho cannot accept it should not be a part of your life, because they do not care for you in the first place.

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  • Lamb96

    It's cool my whole family thinks I'm a lesbian because I said tits

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  • DhGlory

    Gaymun.

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  • redwool666

    well, it fully depends on what you right the poems about. I've written a good few and I've gotten away clear, although most of them include destruction of some kind, and usually include a dark background or Gothic storyline... use you musical talents and make a band! really good music = girls = not gay... works for me, always has

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  • purple-girl

    Your not gay people are gay!

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  • Omega-Claws

    You are so gay, lol jk

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  • Cartello

    Saxaphone and Piano aren't gay? LOL. You queer.

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