Why does everyone have to be dumped?

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33 Comments

Why does the answer to everyone's relationship problems have to be "dump him/her"? What ever happened to working things out? I think a lot of people are pessimistic when it comes to love/relationships, on here and... Off here too, really. Maybe people wouldn't breed as much if everyone would quit telling them to dump their significant other and find someone else when they get in an argument. Maybe people would actually overcome their problems if they really took the time to analyze the problem. I'm not saying everyone should stay together, but i think people deserve more informative answers than, "dump that asshole". When someone asks a question involving more than one person they are apt to give only or mostly their own perspective.

Is it normal to be kind of bothered by this lack of empathy toward the other party?

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84% Normal
Based on 80 votes (67 yes)
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Comments ( 33 )
  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    Sometimes "dumping them" is the best answer. Sorry to inform you, but life isn't a movie, people aren't going to change for the better in the snap of a finger, if they do at all.

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    • MRmr
      11 years ago

      Lol I find it funny how when you post truthful facts, you always seemed to get thumbs downed. It seems people just cant face reality for what it is.

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      • [Old Memory]
        11 years ago

        Believe me when I tell you, I have to deal with it nearly every subject on this site, and then people get pissy when I mention an obvious fact that they're being more emotional than logical.

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  • KeddersPrincess
    11 years ago

    Nuh-uh. You can also murder them.

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    • Allistalla
      11 years ago

      great advice to end up in prison .

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  • NeuroNeptunian
    11 years ago

    I don't always agree with people straight out posting "dump them", but if the OP signifies that they have already tried to work things out?

    Sorry, but some relationships are just not meant to last. And like ItDuz said, people are not going to change with the snap of a finger. Rarely do people even change at all, in fact, this is the advice I give in real life: You can't go into a relationship with someone and expect them to change for you. Period. Either you accept them for who they are or you move on. If they change, it will be because they want to and if they feel that you are worth changing for or that changing is beneficial to them, then good for you!

    I wouldn't recommend that everybody just give up on their relationship, but when you think with your empathy and feelings concerning someone who doesn't appear to have your best interests in mind, you're cruisin for bullshit. If the situation demands that the other party "change their ways", I'd rather the OP expect them not to than go on in a miserable relationship hoping that this person will magically start giving a damn about themselves and others.

    Talk it out. But don't care about the relationship more than they do. It takes two.

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  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    "Why does the answer to everyone's relationship problems have to be "dump him/her"

    A good question.

    It's because people are weak these days, divorce is encouraged instead of frowned upon, and the solution to everyones problems is to run away from them. The morals and values of the old school have gone down the drain because of stupid liberal idiots that think being a big pussy is the meaning of life. Everyone seems to follow this trend of thought and it sickens me. Look at how much better the 50's were, i may only be 25 years old but i can certainly see how fucking disgraceful libs are now towards love and life.

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    • Range
      11 years ago

      Hate to burst your nostalgia bubble but if the 1950s were so great why did the 1960s happen? It seems to me that racism, sexism (both great "old school" values), the Korean War, McCarthyism and complete paranoia of other cultures and the Atomic Bomb are all things that are conveniently forgotten by those that watch too many episodes of "Leave it to Beaver" and the like. You forget that these shows were made to be an escape form reality not a replication of it and being that the Korean War is the "forgotten war" it seems that they have done a good job of covering the truth. Just so you know the Soviets did the same thing with their shows and so do most dictators, or any other culture for that matter, that refuse to inconvenience people with the truth.

      By the way I wouldn't blame the liberals for the any marriage woes, they have a better track record of staying married than conservatives do. It's funny how those that stop worrying about preaching the wrongs of others and start focusing on their own issues tend to stay married longer.

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      • [Old Memory]
        11 years ago

        "why did the 1960s happen?"

        Why do you think? Because idiots runing around spreading std's and drugs all over the place was inevitable. They left all of that for future generations to clean up while sitting on their fucking asses smoking pot and fucking anything that moved. The 60's are a great example of what i'm saying.

        "I wouldn't blame the liberals for the any marriage woes, they have a better track record of staying married than conservatives do"

        Nowhere near correct.

        I'm not sure how any of the rest was relevant at all.

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        • Range
          11 years ago

          Yeah, I know it's really easy to deny those inconvenient facts about the fifties and just live in Beaver Clever land but I'm not in the business of letting anyone trample over my rights with my eyes closed be they private industry (AWARE inc), a power hungry senator, or the FBI.

          As for the stats on liberal vs. conservative marriage and divorce rates: liberals get married later and less frequently but those marriages are less likely to end in divorce.
          http://familylaw.typepad.com/stats/2011/04/stat... (see the PDF attachment)
          In fact if it wasn't for the northern great plains states (the Dakotas and Montana--some of the lowest populated states) bucking the trend for the conservatives and Washington D.C. (also sparsely populated when considering it doesn't have the population of an entire state--except WY) for the Liberals it would be a pretty cut and dry case.

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          • [Old Memory]
            11 years ago

            Since the world became way more liberal than conservative everything about it has gone to shit, coincidence?

            You can spin things anyway you want and believe what you want but i see a huge coincidence in the liberal uprising and the quality of the world we live in now. And it's a shitty one unless you're one of those crazy people who think things are actually better these days.

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  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    Agreed. Sometimes it is the correct answer - like when there is physical abuse or something like that. But you are so right about people abusing it and being flippant in their advice.

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  • FrancoisDillinger
    11 years ago

    most people would rather run away from their problems rather than facing them.

    Dumping someone would be the easiest and most effective way of running away from whatever problem that person were causing.

    they may think because you're married, the relationship can be easily discarded, but challenge them to dump their significant other over a similar situation and I doubt they would.

    Don't worry, most people wouldn't even take their own advice lol

    So, some suggestions, you shouldn't put much "weight" behind.

    =D

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    • FrancoisDillinger
      11 years ago

      **because you're NOT married.

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  • Allistalla
    11 years ago

    I dumped everyone I was ever with or they dumped me . It wasnt big deal now Im all alone I think I prefer it this way . its also way way cheaper !

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  • Finding_Peace_In_A_Mad_World
    11 years ago

    Agreed. That always seems to be the answer these days, and people should really try to work things out instead of always taking the easy way.

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  • Anonymous Post Author
    11 years ago

    Check this out:

    I wrote this when I was angry with my boyfriend...

    http://isitnormal.com/story/iin-my-boyfriend-turned-me-into-a-bitch-and-now-he-hates-me-for-it-129395/

    And this I wrote for my boyfriend (I can't get him to use this site for anything), empathizing with him AMAP, using words he has said to me ...

    http://isitnormal.com/story/is-it-normal-for-my-girlfriend-to-hide-things-129610/

    Notice the difference in responses. I find it interesting...

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    • NeuroNeptunian
      11 years ago

      You find it interesting that two different stories will garner two different types of responses?

      Do you also find it interesting that two different pairs or shoes with two different sizes fit... differently?

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      • Anonymous Post Author
        11 years ago

        I find it interesting that many people think men should be thrown away like shoes, but in general i don't find shoes very interesting at all. Also, it seems that no one really seems to know what to say to a guy who admits his feelings. As a whole, i think people always expect the man to be the root of the problem in a relationship. No one told him, "dump her, she's a piece of trash." It's always the man who has to change. To be honest, I never really paid much attention to those things my boyfriend was telling me until i wrote them down. I still don't see the need to change, but i will be more attentive of his feelings and my actions now .

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        • NeuroNeptunian
          11 years ago

          That IS interesting, but like I said, twp different stories, two different responses. If you want to a valid comparison than you should find a better one than that. I'm not disagreeing with you, but as I said above, you come onto a website and just bitch about how much you hate your boyfriend (and hell, I can post a few stories where it is a man being encouraged to dump his girlfriend, but conveniently you miss those, right?), then expect to get answers that correspond with said bitching.

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          • Anonymous Post Author
            11 years ago

            Well apparently someone is on my side here...

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            • NeuroNeptunian
              11 years ago

              Here's the problem with that: I don't really care. This is an advice website. I'll let you know when I start to give a damn about who is taking whose side on an anonymous internet forum. Such are the horrible side effects of not taking the internet very seriously.

              Although I love how you'd rather point that out than address the argument that I gave you. But you're more interested in bitching about advice that you got from bitching about your boyfriend as opposed to just talking to him like an adult. Oh oh sorry, growing up and having an adult relationshop is hard work :( you'd rather come vent on the internet, nevermind :(

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  • Captain_Kegstand
    11 years ago

    If the relationship is beyond saving, sometimes that is the only option. I do agree with you however, and if it feels from OP's story like there is something to work with, I try and suggest it.

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  • howaminotmyself
    11 years ago

    I think it will depend on the foundations of the relationship at hand. If there is a strong foundation, working it out should always be the first option. But if the relationship was built of falsehoods or one partner trying to be something that they aren't for the sake of impressing the other, it is doomed to fail.

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  • dappled
    11 years ago

    I agree with you. We've come to expect instant answers from so many things that we expect them elsewhere (like relationships). However, just because there's now potatoes that can be bought already peeled (I couldn't believe my eyes), doesn't mean relationships are any easier or harder than they've ever been.

    I don't know who the OP is but they sound like someone who shares my viewpoint on things.

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    • Captain_Kegstand
      11 years ago

      Pre-peeled potatoes? How much extra do you pay for that ridiculous luxury?

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      • dappled
        11 years ago

        God knows, I was too stunned to even think about looking at the cost. And they looked so weird. Like they were naked in there. It gets worse as well. There was pre-made mashed potatoes that you put in the microwave. :O

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        • Captain_Kegstand
          11 years ago

          The laziness of people never ceases to amaze me! Pre-peeled potatoes, just ridiculous!

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  • BluntsRolled
    11 years ago

    Because most of the post are already past the point of "working out" besides even if they do somehow manage to, those problems are STILL there, idling underlying and can be brought up at ANY time, they never truly go away.

    In my opinion its best to just count your losses, be thankful that you even HAD the relationship to begin with, and just go your separate ways. Learn from you mistakes and start from scratch with someone new, who's better suited for you.

    Once something is broken, it can never be fixed completely, or put back together to the way it was before.

    Besides, do you REALLY think people get off IIN and immediately leave their partners?

    NO! They just come one here so people spoon feed them what they wanna hear, I'm pretty sure the majority of them continue on in there relationships, also I'm sure they have friends IRL that they are asking for advice, as well as IIN.

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