Why does she hate me? is it normal she ignores me/is rude to me?

40% Normal
8 Comments

I am still trying to get to know this one person at my new job but she refuses to talk to me or is very blunt with me and I can't figure out why because she talks to EVERYONE but me.

She's super outgoing so it's not that she's shy. I have been there several weeks now and each time I say hi to her or make small talk, she is blunt with me. She NEVER says hi to me in passing, I have to say it first, ALWAYS. She never says bye to me, I always have to say it or we don't say anything at all.

I don't work along side her but I see her at least 10 times a day for several minutes each time. That's when she talks to my coworkers and ignores me completely. At first I thought it was in my head but now I am convinced she doesn't like me and I don't know why. I think she's cool and kind to everyone but me. I am nice to her, I ask her how she is, I complimented her jewelry/clothes and I'm honest about it, I say things like "man it's so hot today" or random chatter about stuff that's going on but she'll just answer bluntly like "Yeah" or "thanks" and then walk off. She rarely looks me in the eye, always looks away. I don't understand what her problem is or what I'm doing wrong! All my coworkers ask me out to lunch, seem to really love me, tell me they miss me, etc and we get on well except her.

Is this normal and if so, why do you think this is? I just don't find it normal but maybe she hates me for no reason? :/ I just want her to be cool with me. I feel lots of tension in her presence and today she was rude to me when I said "hey,how are you!?", she was like "i'm good, why?" and then I said "just asking" and she just smiled and raised her eyebrows and said "oh" and then walked away.

What is going on? My friend says it's probably because she is jealous of me because I'm the "new shiny toy" and I'm her age and all the others are much older than us.

Voting Results
40% Normal
Based on 20 votes (8 yes)
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Comments ( 8 )
  • VinnyB
    8 years ago

    Not trying to be rude, but there is no possible way that anyone here could have any idea why someone at you job dislikes you. It could be something you did or said, it could be she doesn't like the way you do your hair, or a million other things. Not everyone has to like you, not everyone will like you throughout your life, and people are not required to have any reason to not like you.

    The person is a co-worker, as long as they are providing the minimum communication required for you both to do you jobs, that is all you can ask for. Don't waste your time trying to be friends with someone who doesn't want you as a friend. A desire that everyone like you and a need to have everyone consider you a friend is not a reason to befriend someone.

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  • Redcoats
    8 years ago

    Queen Bee syndrome. She's jealous or feels threatened by you. I don't know, women are weird.

    But I must admit, I kinda do this too to the new staff. It's nothing personal, it's just at my work we have such a high turn over of staff, by the time I've learnt someone's name, they've left.

    So for me, it's a minimum of 3 months until I at least consider trying to remember someone's name. I don't know, men are weird.

    People are weird.

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  • [Old Memory]
    8 years ago

    Keep it as close to professional as you can (provided it's a job you overall care about or need). It's just too dangerous to be anything else in over zealous PC society. I rarely engage my co workers in personal small talk. Just do what you gotta do and get your time in.

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  • theseeker
    8 years ago

    She might be jealous. If that's the case, that's her problem not yours. Like VinnyB said, she's not worth worrying about. It sounds like it would be best to keep your conversations at "hi" and "bye."

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  • RoseIsabella
    8 years ago

    She sounds jealous.

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  • hokisgurl
    8 years ago

    Have you ever thought maybe not everybody is going to like you maybe she thinks your annoying Possibly she doesnt know how to socialize with you or shes intimidated by you She could be all about work and not mingle work or shes in her own working zone habit and shes too focused to wnt to chat

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  • JD777
    8 years ago

    I wouldn't lose sleep over it. Some people warm up to people slower than others, maybe she's jealous, maybe she's creeped out that you are giving her so much attention and need her attention. Either way, your best tact might be to just continue to be cordial, but not overly attentive, and DO NOT express your issues with her to others at work. You don't know yet how fast your comments will get back to her and make her even more uncomfortable.

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  • ucipher8
    8 years ago

    I bet you just want to fuck her dont you. Or maybe she just wants to fuck you? Fuck it, just do you god damn job! Fuck!

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