Why does this even have to happen to me?

My left eyebrow has almost gone bye-bye due to constantly being under stress and anxiety which results in reaction of pulling them off or doing so due to result of feeling some kind of dopamine reward feeling when the hair is pulled out , but on other hand, this scares me, due to women with thinner than normal getting looks and mine almost completely , in addition being a male which even intensifies the feeling of shame, and the anxiety of a video call with that one girl that likes to chat me up and if she notices it on video call or real life, this rare chance that i have with her will go bye bye forever and don't bullshit me now if she cuts contact with me that there's "plenty of fish" or whatever bullshit wishful thinking you'll try to put me in a head, don't fucking lie about it!, just say the world is cruel and love is a rare thing and something to lose such as this, this fucking gift will destroy me mentally completely. You can tell me i can smoke marijuana to have dopamine rushes but my parents are interfering with my attempt to access it, and i haven't been replied back on assistance in getting a license for medical cannabis.