Why everyday do i think about death?

So where do I begin?

So I am 20 years old, go to University and I have days where I am in such a good mood and feel so motivated yet others spontaneously I feel so sad, feel like crying at any moment.
One thing that has been on my mind since literally about the age of 5 is the idea of death.
It scares me so much that I think about it practically every night, and in recent years it disturbs my day to day where if I'm suddenly happy I'll then feel sad with the thought 'well what's the point of being happy if we're all going to die' I can't escape this thought.
This problem has become so bad that I feel sad when I'm around family as it saddens me to think they won't always be here, if I hear a sad song I usually have to leave the room so no-one sees me cry.
I also find talking about it (as i have done with very few people) never helps as I always have the comeback that no one can change my mind and this issue.
I'm obviously aware no one can miraculously allow us to live forever which is what frightens me thinking we will never know just went it will happen.

Furthermore I don't have a big family and all my grandparents had died by the age of 13 and whenever someone mentions grandparents i feel sad and change the subject so I don't have to think of the thought of dying.
I'm the sort of person that gets embarrassed seriously over crying so I have to leave the room when my family want to watch a sad film just to cry. My friends usually say i'm smiley and always happy but the truth is inside I'm not and its just getting so much worse.

Again I don't know the outcome from this but just still like to hear peoples thought...

Thanks for taking the time to read this. <3

Voting Results
62% Normal
Based on 45 votes (28 yes)
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Comments ( 26 )
  • Ellenna

    You are depressed so get some professional help

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  • Crow

    1. We're all going to die. That's set in stone.
    2. We don't all have to be upset.
    3. Would you rather die happy or die miserable?

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    • deepdankstickygoo

      Well said.

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  • Steve2.00

    Well, death is an inevitable end to one's life, so it's fairly normal to contemplate something imminent and unavoidable. Death finally brings an end to the misery and torment we have to endure as a consequence of our existence in our horrible, disgusting and abhorrent world, so any intelligent individual should look forward to it.

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    • skilful_soldier3

      You pretend to be smart on the internet all day because you are a fat asshole with no friends.

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    • thegypsysailor

      2 Harvard degrees, an apartment in Boston, a couple of mil in the bank, a 5 star hotel and an IQ of 150 something (which you say means YOU are very intelligent), yet you think like this? Boy aren't you EVER satisfied? Pitiful.

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      • green_boogers

        That 151 IQ may look enviable to some, but to have intelligence at that level makes the ignorance and hopeless prognosis for the world look like a glaring pathetic mess.

        My IQ is not as high as Steve's but I can sympathize with him to a considerable extent.

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      • wigz

        Because if someone has it worse than you, you're not allowed to feel bad.

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        • I don't see that as relevant to what is being said..

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        • thegypsysailor

          What the fuck is THAT supposed to mean?

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          • wigz

            Exactly what I said. A bad day for one is the same as another

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      • skilful_soldier3

        You bravely sail the seven basements with a blow up doll 42 years your junior.

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  • Jo_

    It's completely normal to be afraid of dying. Meaby you should try talking to a professional, it isn't all that bad.

    And just know, if the first person you try to talk to doesn't work out, don't worry, they're just not for you. Keep looking and you'll find someone that's right for you.

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  • Someone_that_likes_cats

    I started thinking about dying and death when I was 11. I found help and I'm fine now!

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  • superanonymous

    I think exactly like you but i think that most people who voted this as normal -myself included- simply want to believe that it is normal since they can relate to it... I really hope this isn't the case but thats what i think

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  • myrealthoughts

    I'm scared of dying too! :(

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  • yu-gi-ohChampion25

    I always lose my shit when i hear people whining about their fucking GRAND-PARENTS!!?!? who gives a shit i was glad when my grandpa died and laughed my ass off when my big cousin was bawling his eyes out like a faggot LOL

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    • 53739

      without your grandparents your parents wouldn't be here that means you would be here either, be thankful

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  • thegypsysailor

    Relax and don’t take life so seriously, it’s not like you are going to get out of it alive.

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    • skilful_soldier3

      You bravely sail the seven basements with a blow up doll 42 years your junior.

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      • thegypsysailor

        It's a fucking wubber ducky, you complete moron. Can't you get ANYTHING right?

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