Why is it hard to get laid & get a relationship in college

ok I'm 20 years old and I'm a freshman in college. I go to college in florida, but i find it really hard to get laid. I lost my virginity my first week of college, but after that i can't believe how hard it is for me to even just get in a relationship. i'll explain why: I already know my disadvantages of why i can't get laid but their other aspects that pisses me off about how i just can't talk to girls and keep them interested in me. Basically I have low self esteem, I can be funny at times, I do get really nervous around girls i like, and that i would like to get intimate with, but i just seem to get labeled as the nice guy, and i keep getting stuck in the friend zone. I'm not gonna lie, but my perception of how some of my close friends say to me and its like a broken record: your a good looking guy, I sometimes don't like what i see in the mirror. But even the chick who took my v card even said to me I'm a good looking kid, what pisses me off is, i just can hold their attraction and also its boca! I've lived in boca all my life, and one thing i can tell you is most girls that consider by society are "stuck up"! I just don't know how to get a girlfriend, and how to hold their interest. I feel as if my confidence can't be elevated! It starts to deteriorate at my self esteem! It just aggravates me - i mean yeah i know the expression girls will come to you, but they ain't gonna knock your door down trying to get with you. You have to put in the effort to get them, but how do you get them? I feel like I'm starting to be classified in the catagory as the type of guy who is a loner! can't get girls, low confidence, shy etc. even guys had told me you should be popular, you have everything going for you, man if they only know what goes on in my head that i can't explain, its depressing at times. But if anybody can give it a stab and try to give me some help on trying to get a girl the right way - much is appreciated! Thanks for your help!

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Based on 57 votes (44 yes)
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Comments ( 19 )
  • Zippy

    You don't have to be a dick to get girls. Being nice is great, but only if it's genuine. I remember a guy who was constantly telling me I'm pretty, opening doors for me, and just being extra nice all the time. The reason I didn't like him is because he was sucking up to me, it got on my nerves and made me respect him less. So be nice, but don't kiss her butt!

    Also, there's a lot more to it than that. Be fun, be humorous, try to adopt some more confidence. Instead of thinking about how to get girls, it's probably better to think about and work on how you can make yourself a better individual first. Girls will naturally be easier to get after that.

    Don't be afraid to tease girls and make some jokes at their expense. I think this is the right way to be a "dick". It's not actually mean, it's just fun and they'll probably start teasing you back. Use common sense of course, don't say anything that's just plain mean.

    All in all, be yourself, but be the best self that you can be.

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    • sebastian2013

      This is great advice, all around.

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    • dillon10124

      yea your right - its also apart of my social anxiety, also get nervous to approach girls - idk

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  • BluntsRolled

    Nice guy? Be a dick.
    Don't give them everything up front.

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    • dillon10124

      true

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    • sunjib

      Hi!! I'm not pretty sure is it yr real profile or fake. But I must admit you are one of the most beautiful lady that I ever seen previously in my life. Seeing U feeling something happening strongly from my inside &I wish to express a long term relationship with a beautiful angel like U. Waiting for your reply dear.
      My Yahoo IM: <sunjib.apparel>
      Skype: sunjib77

      I'm in Need of Sex-Buddy & I'm Comfortable With All Age Group/Any Nationality Of Females!!

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      • dillon10124

        im a guy

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  • changes123

    Start by changing how you think about a sexual relationship. Getting "laid" really isn't where it's all at. There is so much more to a relationship, and even life than that. What do you truly find to be important in life? Just a couple of questions you can think about.

    Perspectives always change.

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  • Elle93

    I like shy, nice guys... honestly! I'm serious, I always go for the shy nerdy guys. You never know, you could find a hot girl who likes inexperienced shy guys :) They DO exist!!!

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  • AverageJo25

    Respect woman, dont be nice. theres a difference.

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  • blueizbabe07

    Be yourself. Show comfidance, even if you dont feel it. Appear to feel it. Girls will catch on to that and be interested. And soon your comfidance will really grow. You have your whole life to find your soul mate, who says she will be beating your door down right now? Dont try and be somebody your not. Just relax and go with the flow. There is a someone out there for you! Be open and just let life happen. dont try and rush things and make things fit were they should'nt just to have a girlfriend. In other words dont just "settle". In a relationship you have to both deserve eachother. :)

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    • dillon10124

      Common, you make it sound like ill be in my 80's still looking for my soul mate lol I mean yea confidence has a big role to play in, I guess i really don't get women and how they work idk -

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  • 413iu

    Joke around, but only at the right times

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  • dillon10124

    i guess you could say - I'm not good at being a dick in the right way!

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  • miss_torn2pieces

    It's good to be nice but being too nice is quiet annoying that will lead to boredom.

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    • dillon10124

      I've heard that - but I've been a dick to chicks & didn't turn out to well. Lets just say when I'm a dick they take offense to it. Its fucked up!

      - k basically i don't know how to be a dick without making her hate my guts.

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      • miss_torn2pieces

        Perhaps you're overdoing it. Being too nice and being too dick is not good, you guys must learn how to balance it. I know one guy in our college days that makes girls crazy about him because he knows how to say things at the right time & place even though he's being nice and being a dick as well. I don't know how he does it but he's cool.

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        • dillon10124

          Omg how do you do that!! Holey shit lol i mean common, i honestly don't know

          but like i find it hard to keep a conversation going and keep her interested? its so gay and annoying -

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          • miss_torn2pieces

            LOL. I really don't know how he does it but I think it's for the reason that he's so sure of himself (confidence is present but not being air headed), he knows what women want(one best example is listening to us and make us feel that what we are saying really matters to you), and he's witty.. These are only the few things that i have observed when I got the chance to talk with him.

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