Why is it so hard to communicate properly with my best friend?

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First of all, sorry for my bad grammar. English isnt my native language.

I will get to the point right away.

- My best friend (call her Tina, not her real name) misunderstand me a lot. And when I try to explain what really happened, she thinks I am lying to her.

- Because I am smarter than her in academic, she thinks that I am superior in everything. She always compares her weakness with my strong point. Even though she has her own strong point, but it seems she don't care about it. She just think about her weakness. And she says I'm too smart for her, that she is jealous of me. And other stuff.

- Tina is really kind, very kind. She always helps me out when I'm in trouble. But lately, her behaviour is getting worse. She got mad all the time. Some of it because of misunderstanding (i tried to explain, she thought im lying, she got mad again, blocked me) or because of a reason that i dont know (i asked her why she was mad, she didnt answer, i asked again, she got mad again, then blocked me).

- Almost all of our conflict, ended up with her blocking my contact. And then i tried to apologize, and she got mad again or didnt say anything. And then, the next day, in school, she came to me like nothing happened.

- She is important to me. We have been friends for 4 years. I dont want to lose her, so i tried not to hurt her at all. But it seems all my plan failed. She got mad no matter what i do (of course, i know she had her own reasons, for getting mad, for not telling me) because of this reason, i stopped asking her or explaining to her, and this makes the misunderstanding worsen.

- today, she blurted out my secret in front of a lot of people. I got mad, and she also got mad at me. I decided to stop ignoring our problems this past few months. I explained her everything. My feeling. My opinion. My situation. My reasons. Everything. But it seems nothing get through her. She said "I dont think i'm wrong today." I tried to understand her perspective and asked her why. But she didnt answer and i think she blocked me again today.

What should i do? Why is it so hard to communicate properly with her? I'm fed up with her. But the thought of losing her really scare me. She is like a family for me. Whats more, she doesnt have any other friend except me (she is introvert to most people). There is no way i can leave her alone.

I already thought some possibilities:
1. She is jealous of me (she ever said this to me) and feel depressed around me
2. She has a big problem (family, etc)
3. Just her mood

I dont even understand her way of thinking. She is kind. But she doesnt want me to win/achieve something. She is gentle. But she always intentionally hurt my feeling and say she is not wrong.

Sorry for my long post. I already revised this post twice and make it short as possible. Im really sorry, and thank you.

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Comments ( 5 )
  • Kurayami
    7 years ago

    i kind of understand where you're coming from, me and my friend have a problem like this too its much smaller though just a few small disagreements, and i know why you are scared to lose her too its the same with me, what i think you should do though is apologize for whatever happened it doesnt matter if its your fault or not thats how these things work, and give her enough space, i usually stop talking to my friend for a bit and eventually when everythings all better we are normal like nothing ever happeend

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  • yaoipuppy2
    8 years ago

    maybe youre both just not compatible

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    • Rna21
      8 years ago

      We're compatible for 3 years. The problem only began from 1 year ago. And at first, its just sometimes. Then became often like now. Is it possible for a friendship to change?

      And by the way, our interest is kinda same.

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  • Ellenna
    8 years ago

    She doesn't sound like a friend to you, let alone a best friend. Friendships often change or one person outgrows the other: if you're getting nothing positive out of the friendship it's time to move on.

    Why are you scared of losing her? By the sound of it you already have, through no fault of your own.

    Your english is really good, by the way!

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    • Rna21
      8 years ago

      Yesterday, after I posted this question, she answered some of my question. Like 'why did you blurt out my secret today? Why did you think you are not wrong?', 'Why did you block me everytime we fight?' And 'why did you think blocking me is the best option to finish our problem?'.

      She answered 3 of them. And finally I could understand her perspective. But she didnt answer the last question. She said 'I dont want to explain, so i wont answer'. Even after i explained that she should answer, so i can understand her perspective, but she answered the same.

      I think she is my best friend because at the same time, she is kind. I dont want to judge her and think she is not my friend anymore just because she got mad at me. Because, everyone had their own reason to be mad. Im scared of losing her because she is important to me.

      Thanks ^.^, its a lot of effort just to post this. :))

      In the end, yesterday I said to her "okay. From now on, lets finish our problem using your method." And she answered okay. Is this the right thing to do? Well, from now on i decided not to tell her my secret anymore.

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