Wife wants to try again

83% Normal
7 Comments

Me and my wife have tried 4 times to have another child. Last pregnancy she lost it and we found out at the gender reveal ultrasound that it didnt have a heart beat. It was rough. It was quite far along to have a miscarriage and totally unexpected. Now after the last miscarriage she has been working out a lot shes back in shape like she was before having kids. She wants to try again and gets mad at me for saying "Idk if I can take another pregnancy" because obviously I'm not carrying it. But she gets morning sickness so bad and it takes so much energy out of me with how sick she is. Its every day shes calling me at work telling me how bad she feels and it just makes me feel depressed for months until she has it or doesnt. And not to mention obviously shes gonna get big and lose her nice physique(i know im a bastard for even caring). And then after all that negative energy for months she might just lose it. And our kids are gonna be too far apart regardless at this point which I always wanted them close together. She's about to have a surgery to clear out scar tissue to help not have another miscarriage. Its just been pregnancy after pregnancy idk how she can even have the will to do it again because I dont know if I do. Adopting will cost like $30,000. Idk if I want to go for round 5 of this shit.

Voting Results
83% Normal
Based on 6 votes (5 yes)
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Comments ( 7 )
  • LornaMae
    2 years ago

    This post shows such lack of love and respect for your wife and your life as a couple. I feel for her, most of all. You'd be doing her a favor by leaving her. The heartbreak over a failed marriage is less worse in comparison to a lifetime of being thought of as a burden and someone who's bringing you down with her "problems". You sound like the first prize in the worst husband lottery to be completely frank.

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  • hauntedbysandwiches
    2 years ago

    You sound like you don't even love her, you should probably consider divorce

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    • SwickDinging
      2 years ago

      Yeah, I also get that vibe.It's nothing against the OP - fertility struggles are soul destroying and it's quite common for it to ruin a marriage.

      OP, maybe it's time to throw the towel in? Do you actually want to be with your wife anymore? Would she want to be with you if she knew how you felt about all of this?

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  • olderdude-xx
    2 years ago

    While I share your concern... I believe its best for your relationship to allow your wife to try again.
    .
    Perhaps you can suggest that she consider other options if this does not work. Perhaps a surrogate mother who is implanted with her fertilized egg.
    .
    There may be other options

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  • DADNSCAL
    2 years ago

    Maybe you could share this with her doctor, and he could talk some sense into her.

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  • idolomantis
    2 years ago

    Yikes, I really feel for you OP…And your wife as well, though I personally find your struggles a little more relatable since I’ve personally never wanted children. Honestly, most relationships have their rough patches. It sounds to me like you’re either just tired and jaded with your relationship (it’s understandable, we’re all entitled to our personal feelings about things.) or maybe like you might be ready to call it quits…? It’s your life, I’m in no position to judge you either way. I’ve also never been married and I don’t have kids, so this sounds like a tough spot to be in.Miscarriages are tough too, which I know is an understatement. And another child is a lot for any person to handle whether you’re male or female, so I personally don’t think you should feel pressured to have another kid if you don’t want one…your feelings should matter as much as her’s, that’s how relationships are supposed to work.

    I personally think that your feelings on this sound very normal and understandable. I can’t really give you much in the way of advice since only you know what you want out of your life, though I guess I do recommend couple’s therapy if you want to keep your relationship. I wish you luck, I hope things get less stressful for you.

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  • Anonymous Post Author
    2 years ago

    And after every miscarriage its like everyone at work is coming to me and apologizing and its this big thing. I feel weird with everyone coming up to me and all the texts of "are you doing ok?" I know everyone means well but its exhausting
    She wont go to church anymore because shes mad at god or whatever. Im kinda ready to say fuck it.

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