Will it always be like this?

67% Normal
5 Comments

Hi, thank you for reading this.. I am 24, at 17 I left my home country for University bachelor. I traveled a lot in that phase, different countries, cities, did a lot of exchange programs, point is I feel I saw it all. I am well rounded if that is the way to put it. However, I never was attracted to boys my age. Never. I was attracted to older men, 37, 40, 50. Men I was being with were all married. All had their family and lives. My longest relationship lasts no more than a month, a month and a half. They all left me as I get attached emotionally. I never wanted anything out of these relations other than the emotional fulfillment. I knew they had families and I can only be on the side, but I just wanted to stay on the side, I wanted the relationship not to end as I was happier while with them. I was ecstatic, I forget about everything while I am with them, everything. It is as if I am drugged. It is rare that I like a man. It is very rare. There have been 3 only in the past 7 years. I dated other men of course and have been to dinners with others. But I never see them again. Only three catched my heart. Now I am sharing this. Because a lot of times, I ask myself, how am I ever going to have a family and children. Men I find interesting are all married. Does it mean at some point I just have to get married to a man I do not love?
I am not afraid to not be loved, I am afraid not to love men who will love me because I never did.I loved men who were not looking for love. And I knew that. I just wanted it to last as long as it can..

( I just want to mention that my upbringing was normal and full of love. I love my father so much. I am the last child of 4)

Voting Results
67% Normal
Based on 3 votes (2 yes)
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Comments ( 5 )
  • 1WeirdGuy
    2 years ago

    You'll find someone eventually I think. Atleast you've had relationships thats better than having none. Atleast you can. It almost sounds like a fetish or something. I dont see why you cant be attracted to single guys unless its a fetish. Its just weird that you talk like you CANT be attracted to single dudes.

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    • unad34
      2 years ago

      Hi @WeirGuy thank you for responding. I say cannot because I cannot be attracted to males in the age group of 25-35. I am Arab, Arab men tend to get married to the latest at the age of 31,32, maximum 35. Hence, men who are 37,40, up, who I get attracted to are most likely going to be married already. I hope you now understand why I say I cannot be attracted to single men. Because single men use to be less than 40 years old.

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  • Tinybird
    2 years ago

    you don't marry someone you don't love, why not just stay single then

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  • olderdude-xx
    2 years ago

    Yes, it's surprisingly normal to want to be with a more mature man than those of your age - at least into the 30's or so.

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  • girlinadarkcorner
    2 years ago

    Whatever you end up doing, don't settle for starting a family with a guy you're not interested in. It will only leave you unsatisfied and won't be good for anyone involved.

    I'm sure you'll find someone eventually who you can settle down with and be happy with. I wish you the best of luck with this.

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