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It was a dark non-rainy night
When Fred said hoi, hoi, hoi
Jane was a girl
But Fred was a boy, boy, boy
They had a dog
But they kept it chained up too long
And it went vicious
And somewhat malicious
Its food was delicious
Its name was Grishus
And it had big paws
That were atrocious
Well, one day it was looking at its food
When up from the ground
Came a bubbling crude
Black gold, Texas tea
Could I get this published?
| Yes | 23 | |
| No | 64 |
Mr. Sillypants! That wasn't part of the poem. Sometimes when a poem ends, some other words come, and them words are not in the poem. These were some words and not in a poem. You can always tell when a poem ends because the rhyming goes away.
grishus soon got off the chain, to fred and jane it ran to maim grrrrrrrrrrr
The rhyming is all out of place.
The words like boy boy boy, and 'non-rainy night' and that name Grishus just so it rhymes with delicious?
I mean I could go on and on. This poem is pathetic!
Note if you are 10, then its one of the best poems ever.
i dont think all poetry must have a rythm to it
its an art
so make it your own
atleast thats my opinion
but make it good..lol
-Aless
I was too tired for iambic pentameter. Grishus escaped and I chased that mutt all over town. And then I didn't get a good night's sleep because of the oil company trying to build a damn well in my back garden.
I'll try again when suitably rested. :/
Honestly, I didn't really find anything spectacular about this piece. That being said, I don't think that my opinion should impede your attempt to get this published.
Also, where do you get poems published?
gift wrap that poem and give it to a child for christmas
HERES MY POEM
i was once a city boy
hard at work but then i saw it
it was horrible
it was ugly
it was...a noob
can i get this published?
happy 4th of july
ok im not sure if this is a joke or not but ima be BRUTALLY HONEST and im going to say that this poem sounds like a 7-10 year old wrote it and if you wish to get something like this published be more creative and play with the human emotions :)
Sounds like someone is ripping off the Beverly Hillbillies (see last two lines).
Oh God, not this again. I've already had to change the last stanza once. It was:
You'll have a yabba dabba doo time.
A dabba doo time.
You'll have a gay old time.
Gay rights groups protested about that one. What am I doing wrong now? :(
Fred in his house
Quiet as a mouse
Then the fire alarm went
And he ran out the door
Fred in the garden
Giving his cat a pardon
For some murder it had
Committed back in '63
The killing of Jack Ruby
Solved by old Scooby
Where are you?
We got some work to do now.
Scooby dooby doo
Where are you?
We need some help from you now.