Would you secretly want a possessive partner who is obsessed with you?

Fair enough. Although possessive behavior at the start of a relationship might not mean the person is possessive. They could be just stressed, infatuated, and uncertain of your feelings for them. Once you reassure them, many actually relax and stop the possessive behavior.

Why low self esteem and no self respect?

Just seems that as a relationship stabilizes over time, you both become more certain of each other's presence in your life. Then you no longer really feel the need to hold hands every time you are together, or glomp them, and just feel comfortable and relaxed in each other's presence. Infatuation is more of a thing in the beginning of a relationship. As you get to know your partner better, the relationship transforms into a more chill relaxed form of love, where you share everything with each other, and have no doubt of your partner's love for you. Because doubt is completely removed, you no longer feel that strong need for your partner to show their feelings for you. Because you already know, and can completely rely on them, whatever happens.

That's why I said: at the start of a relationship. If your partner is clingy or a bit obsessed in the beginning, that does not have to mean they will always be like that. Relationships mature and people mature. I think people can feel and act a little obsessed (or seem that way to outsiders) in the beginning of a new relationship, because the feelings are so fresh and there can be some uncertainty. What if your feelings are not reciprocated? That's a normal question to ask. Once the relationship stabilizes and it becomes clear that both partners feel the same way and care just as much, most people relax around each other.

Your partner acting obsessed with you at the start of the relationship does not have to mean they are an obsessive person. Maybe it's just the stress and novelty of the situation, or emotional baggage from past relationships (worry you might leave them) that makes them feel that way. And once you reassure them that you're not planning on going anywhere, that you really like them and want to be with them, they will stop acting all possessive of you. Then they chill and start acting more natural, more relaxed.

Naturally, obsessive people and possessive people also exist. And if your partner keeps acting obsessed with you post-honeymoon phase, then they probably are like that. And yes I can see how annoying that could be.

Why? Do you doubt your partner's commitment to you? Have you been cheated on before?

Why does attention scare you?