You can't complain about my drinks if you don't have any
If you don't have anything to drink, you probably shouldn't be criticizing what I'm drinking. That is just a fact - I could be drinking a pitcher full of stale rabbit piss and I wouldn't take it from you if you had the nerve to say that I'm wrong for having something to drink while your thirsty ass is over there, shriveling up into a little old man because you were too dumb to get a drink. And for fuck's sake, you best keep your hands off of my plate as well - I see one goddamned French fry leave my plate and end up in a mouth that ain't mine, they're gonna be taking my picture at the local jailhouse afterwards.