You prefer to eat intravenously

You prefer to eat intravenously. The idea of shoving something into your mouth disturbs you, because you think it's low-key kinda gay. You were asked out on a date, and when you arrived to the restaurant, you were stunned at the audacity of your date to make such an assumption about you. Where did he get the idea that you were one of 'those people' who shove food into their holes, almost as if they're practicing for the penises they're gonna suck later? You pitched a massive fit and when the waiter accidentally brushed up against you trying to calm you down, you yelled "Don't TOUCH me!" as loudly as your girly voice would allow before making sure that your date knew that you "weren't like [you] people" as you charged out the door, making sure to avoid busboys and anyone else that you could have accidentally gotten AIDS from by brushing up against. A homeless person solicited you for spare change on your way to the car, and you threw bills at them in a fit of rage in order to force them to keep their distance, only to realize that you may have inadvertently paid a homosexual hobo and given the impression that you were asking for favors. You sped away in your car, eventually reaching your home. As you went inside, you realized that one of your teeth was loose - this happens because you refuse to use an instrument as phallic as a toothbrush, what with that silly little motion that 'they' expect you to do with it in order to keep your teeth clean (not necessary, since you eat intravenously). You refused to visit a dentist, because it will be a cold day in hell before you let some dude shove his big, beefy, masculine, latex-covered hands into your mouth.