Is it normal to question this about relationships?

You really have no idea what love is. I hope some day you will understand because right now you are confusing love and lust. And you have forgotten that love comes in many forms, not just in our romantic encounters.

I'm in a good, honest, caring relationship, so I find this post pretty laughable. She tries so hard to fulfill my emotional needs, so I try just as hard to meet hers. I've never been fucking happier.

Maybe YOUR version of love is about selfishness but that doesn't mean that it is.

And yeah, there are childish women out there that think they deserve it all for very little and there are men out there that take it. Compromise is necessary for every relationship, and just because you can't see the good in the women that some men choose to date doesn't mean that there isn't any and believe me, men aren't without flaw in relationships either. In fact, it is to my understanding that nobody is perfect. Men included.

I'm not sure you know what love is.

Persuading someone to have sex or go on a date with you in the hope of having sex later because you're a good looker *is not love*. An attractive girl might be able to get a new boyfriend really quickly, but that guy will *not* be in love with her and she will *not* be in love with him. They might have sex, and it might even be really good sex, but it won't be love, even if they might be able to persuade themselves that it is. Love isn't something you can replace in a couple of days. Pretty much that definition of love is something you can't replace in a couple of days; if you can then it was never love.

Love is not threatening (overtly or covertly) to leave the other person if you don't get what you want just because you can afford to. That's called emotional blackmail, and it's abuse. Love is staying with that person even if you can't get everything you want because staying together is something that is worth compromising for. Love needs compromise, and in that very small sense you're at least a little bit right: love isn't Hollywood and it isn't perfect. But that doesn't mean it isn't worth having. That doesn't mean it isn't something worth fighting for. That doesn't mean it isn't worth the risk of getting hurt in the pursuit of.

/rant.

You're probably going to shit bash me cause I'm in a healthy relatioship but... Me and bf pay half and half where ever we go. I take him out on dates once in a while, and he takes me out to. We are bestfriends and can tell eachother anything. We know how to handle eachother better than anyone we know. One of the best things about us is never having to feel lonely, or always having someone to come to when we have a shit day. He likes that I coook for him, and I like when he tries to cook and it look like poo :P But I smile and eat it anyways. We make eachother happy in the simplest ways. We are in love. Not lust.

I feel sorry for you...do you ever look at the past generations such as your grandparents or great grandparents who stayed with there spouse. Relationships are work yes... but if you love someone enough than you stay in the relationship. There about communication and mutual respect. That other person becomes your family...someone you can't live without. People nowadays dispose of there relationships with way to much ease and make up some bullshit excuse on why they are not strong enough or just don't want to make the effort to stay with who your with. Sex is way to casual and way to accessible...that's why std's are so rampant.
I believe it's all about having self worth and knowing what you are looking for and want out of a relationship and finding someone who wants the same. As for the pretty women that are supposedly these huge sluts, judging a book by it's cover is the most ignorant thing a person could do. It's shallow and superficial which seems to me that you view women in that way. Also here's a hint looking on street corners and in bars is not the place t meet someone who you would take home to mom.

Ok, first let me make something clear. Men never ask for 'attention or love' because they have ALWAYS received it. From a very young age men have received love and care from their mothers, they grow in their teens they receive love and care from their gf's etc etc. For women its different. At a young age, like boys, we are given love and care and affection BUT, when we grow up and meet a boy we no longer recieve the attention we use too from when they were a child. It stopps for women and then men bitch and say 'oh she she it soo emotiona or too clingy'. If women were to stop showing emotions like men do i assure you men would be just as 'bad' as women!

Men, please just stop and think. Not once in your life have you not been cared for and have stopped receiving affection and love from a woman, it starts for you from a young age and NEVER stops. For women, love and affection from our mothers/fathers, stop when we grow into a 'woman'.

You are very depressing and negative. Just reading your post sucked all positivity from my soul.
I highly doubt you have ever been in love or you wouldn't have said that. And if you ooze out negativity like you did on your post, I am sorry but you will find it hard to find a partner and fall in love.

This is ridiculous, and you have no grasp of what love it.

~Cpt. Obvious.

Ok. I've been reading all these comments, taking in both "sides" points of view, considering the pros and cons of both. So, since you believe stating what you believe firmly to be the truth, that love in real life is majorly stereotyped and believed because of media (am I correct in saying this?), I too shall state my opinion on this matter. Yes, I think many young adults, teens, and even older citizens uphold what they call love from what the media has imprinted on them, I.E., you see a show where a girl loves an abusive relationship with her jerk boyfriend, therefore you're under the impression that must be normal. However, don't be so hasty, anyone, to think love does not exist at all, and I mean true love, not what you think is love. As one who is in love, love is spontaneous, unexplainable with rational means, and irrevently powerful. Love is what motivates humanity to push on, to feel desired and appreciated, and its what makes us human. I dare say some would believe that we as humans are but slaves to our emotions. I can see that, as I think that if love was a captor, who would want to break free? I rebute that in saying that there are psychological conditions, such as the condition where a victim thinks they are in love with their captor, that can argue with this. Simply this, love is real, powerful, and again spontaneous.

Sounds like you're just jealous of those who experience it. A lot of people are just in lust with their partners but a few actually ARE in love.

Well what do you expect "love" to be like?

I don't feel sorry for you. Most relationships are what you described. But there will be one person you are meant for. Most people pass this up, though.

Love seeketh not iself to please
Nor for itself give any care
But for another gives it's ease
And builds a heaven in hell's despair

So sung a little clod of clay
Trodden with the cattle's feet
But a pebble of the brook
Warbled out these metres meet

Love seeketh only self to please
To bind another to its delight
Joys in another's loss of ease
And builds a hell in heaven's despite

Your post reminded me of the following article: http://theschooloflife.typepad.com/the_school_of_life/2011/02/francois-lelord-on-three-kinds-of-love.html

I suppose the "possessiveness" and "selfishness" you refer to is the "jealousy" existing in eros referred to in the article. I personally believe these feelings belong with all things we covet; lovers, of course, being our most coveted objects.

As I understand your argument, you think women are more demanding of a man's time than a man is of woman's or even allowed to be of a woman's. And you think the reason women are like this, or that we as men accept women being like this is because we believe they could land another lover quite quickly. Maybe you're right, but I'm asking myself. What's really bothering you? Why are you blaming women for this situation? Is your girlfriend overly demanding? Does she never consider your needs? If so, why don't you tell her? Better still, when you do something selfless for your girlfriend (i.e. forget your own needs to meet hers) why don't you consider this your admirable task for the day. It's proven that undertaking selfless tasks for others boosts our own sense of well-being.

Of course, one cannot be eternally selfless. And if she really is just a selfish c***; well, you might just have to ask yourself if the nookie is really worth it.

Hey. More emphasis goes on a woman's feelings cause men have no need for such petty emotions. When a woman asks you what's wrong you grunt at her and say, "Woman, go fetch me a glass of whiskey, I need to brood." You then sit on your finest leather armchair and ponder your problems till your mustache solves them for you. FACT.