What's the best advice for life?

The best thing I ever learned was to finally take responsibility for my failures. Its so easy to pass the blame on something else but in doing that you continue to fail because you dont address the problem. You are the only one that can make your life good. And it often takes really hard work, which is why ppl blame others for not succeeding and being happy.

Stick your wang in a cactus.

Never try shaving any body part during a flight.

Oh, and always pull your pants down BEFORE you start to shit.

Measure twice. Cut once.

Don’t use iin for advice.

This is my only advice.

never mix chainsaws & alcohol

When the world says fuck you, then you say fuck the world! *kisses fingertips* Hakuna mafucking tata baby.... Hakuna mafucking tata.

Smile. And hug a lot.

Read, invest and wank.

Love, laugh, and Live Life....

Life isn't anything that happens to you. It's what you choose.

"The only fair thing you have in life is how you choose to treat others."

"The only way to truly love something is to realize that it may be lost."

"An inconvenience is merely an adventure wrongly considered. An adventure is merely an inconvenience rightly considered."

"Great things are seen from the valley; only small things from the peak "

"In matters of fashion, go with the flow. In matters of priciple, stand firm as a rock."

"It is the mark of an educated mind to entertain an idea without accepting it."

"Look not to where you have fallen, but to where you slipped."

"There is no such thing as new news; only old news happening to a new audience."

"Having a right to do something is not at all the same thing as being right in actually doing it."

"If chance be the father of all flesh, then chaos is his rainbow in the sky. And when you hear "Inflation is rising!", "Bomb blasts school!", "Troops on rampage!", "Police on Strike!", "Mass Shooting with 10 Dead!",
Then know it is just the sound of the creation worshipping it's maker."

Spread kindness

Forgive yourself and others. Set and keep reinforcing your boundaries.

Wiping is a waste of time. If you spend 20 seconds a day wiping over 80 years, you waste almost a solid week on a pointless activity.

Life itself is actually one long failure, being alive is essentially humiliating, and your ability to live a dignified life is dependent on how well you can cope with failure. You can fail better than others, and you can fail in such creative ways that allow you to live your life as though it were a work of art.

Start your own business when you're still in high school. Don't ever marry. Adopt children. Put 100$ a month in a TFSA. Retire at 50

Live your passion don't live it because other people told you to.

Death and taxes. Least you can choose how you die

Pour mac & cheese mix into your toilet bowl and block the drain with a strainer so nothing solid ever goes down. Wait two weeks and enjoy

Do not trust anyone, and absolutely never trust women.